tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6978923534008858122024-03-12T18:52:56.364-07:00BlogI am a writer who loves good horror movies.
Horror movies are a safe place for us to plumb the depths of the dark side of the human psyche.
They let us indulge our violent shaudenfreude without anyone actually getting hurt.
Or at least that's what I tell myself to sleep at night.
I am represented by United Talent Agency.timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.comBlogger82125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-5789313824583294472016-10-01T15:40:00.001-07:002016-10-01T15:49:54.022-07:00The 2016 US Election is a Horror Movie and Hillary Clinton is Our Final Girl<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: NotoNashkArabic, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;">Almost every horror movie has the same archetypes: the Maniac, the Mean Girl, the Dumb Jock, the Stoner, the Nerdy Guy, the Condescending Douche, the Small Town Gadfly (who tries to warn them about the danger ahead) and what Carol Clover referred to in her groundbreaking book <a data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_text","lnid":"citation","mpid":2,"plid":"https://www.amazon.com/Men-Women-Chain-Saws-Gender/dp/0691006202"}}" href="https://www.amazon.com/Men-Women-Chain-Saws-Gender/dp/0691006202" style="box-sizing: inherit;" target="_blank">Men, Women and Chainsaws</a> as the Final Girl.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: NotoNashkArabic, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;">The Final Girl is not the sexy one, the outgoing one, the outlandish one, or the hard partying one. She is bookish, quiet, observant, maybe even a bit of a tomboy.</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<figure class="content-list-component image" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: NotoNashkArabic, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 0; margin: 40px auto; max-width: 100%; min-width: initial; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-align: center; width: 647px;"><span class="share-bar-image-wrapper" data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_image"}}" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: block; position: relative;"><span style="color: white;"><img class="image__src" src="http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/scalefit_820_noupscale/57e868911a000019005b4960.gif" style="border-style: none; box-sizing: inherit; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></span></span><div class="image__credit js-image-credit" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.5625rem; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 5px auto 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; text-align: left; text-transform: uppercase; width: 454px;">
<span style="color: white;">HALLOWEN (1978)</span></div>
<figcaption class="image__caption js-image-caption" style="border-bottom: 1px dotted rgb(204, 204, 204); box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.75rem; line-height: 16px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 7px; max-width: 100%; padding-bottom: 8px; text-align: left; width: 454px;"><span style="color: white;">Jamie Lee Curtis</span></figcaption></figure><br />
<div class="content-list-component text" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: NotoNashkArabic, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px auto; max-width: 730px; min-width: initial; padding: 0px; width: 647px;">
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;">But she is also the only one with the strength, heart, grit, determination and ferocity to survive and kill the Maniac.</span></div>
</div>
<br />
<br />
<figure class="content-list-component image" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: NotoNashkArabic, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Roboto, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 0; margin: 40px auto; max-width: 100%; min-width: initial; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; text-align: center; width: 647px;"><span class="share-bar-image-wrapper" data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_image"}}" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: block; position: relative;"><span style="color: white;"><img class="image__src" src="http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/scalefit_820_noupscale/57e83f0f1a000030005b490b.jpg" style="border-style: none; box-sizing: inherit; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></span></span><span class="share-bar-image-wrapper" data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_image"}}" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: block; position: relative;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></span><span class="share-bar-image-wrapper" data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_image"}}" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: block; position: relative;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></span><span class="share-bar-image-wrapper" data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_image"}}" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: block; position: relative;"><div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px; text-align: start;">
<span style="color: white;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px; text-align: start;">
<span style="color: white;">With few exceptions, all others will perish in the Maniac’s path.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px; text-align: start;">
<span style="color: white;">As Halloween approaches, the 2016 United States Presidential Election is playing out very much like a horror movie. First, we have...</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px; text-align: start;">
<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="color: white;">The Maniac:</span></strong></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px; text-align: start;">
<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></strong></div>
<div class="content-list-component text" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px auto; max-width: 730px; min-width: initial; padding: 0px; text-align: start; width: 647px;">
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;">Almost every horror movie has the same archetypes: the Maniac, the Mean Girl, the Dumb Jock, the Stoner, the Nerdy Guy, the Condescending Douche, the Small Town Gadfly (who tries to warn them about the danger ahead) and what Carol Clover referred to in her groundbreaking book <a data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_text","lnid":"citation","mpid":2,"plid":"https://www.amazon.com/Men-Women-Chain-Saws-Gender/dp/0691006202"}}" href="https://www.amazon.com/Men-Women-Chain-Saws-Gender/dp/0691006202" style="box-sizing: inherit;" target="_blank">Men, Women and Chainsaws</a> as the Final Girl.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;">The Final Girl is not the sexy one, the outgoing one, the outlandish one, or the hard partying one. She is bookish, quiet, observant, maybe even a bit of a tomboy.</span></div>
</div>
<figure class="content-list-component image" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 0; margin: 40px auto; max-width: 100%; min-width: initial; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; width: 647px;"><span class="share-bar-image-wrapper" data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_image"}}" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: block; position: relative;"><span style="color: white;"><img class="image__src" src="http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/scalefit_820_noupscale/57e868911a000019005b4960.gif" style="border-style: none; box-sizing: inherit; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></span></span><div class="image__credit js-image-credit" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.5625rem; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 5px auto 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; text-align: left; text-transform: uppercase; width: 454px;">
<span style="color: white;">HALLOWEN (1978)</span></div>
<figcaption class="image__caption js-image-caption" style="border-bottom: 1px dotted rgb(204, 204, 204); box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.75rem; line-height: 16px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 7px; max-width: 100%; padding-bottom: 8px; text-align: left; width: 454px;"><span style="color: white;">Jamie Lee Curtis</span></figcaption></figure><div class="content-list-component text" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px auto; max-width: 730px; min-width: initial; padding: 0px; text-align: start; width: 647px;">
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;">But she is also the only one with the strength, heart, grit, determination and ferocity to survive and kill the Maniac.</span></div>
</div>
<figure class="content-list-component image" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 0; margin: 40px auto; max-width: 100%; min-width: initial; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; width: 647px;"><span class="share-bar-image-wrapper" data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_image"}}" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: block; position: relative;"><span style="color: white;"><img class="image__src" src="http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/scalefit_820_noupscale/57e83f0f1a000030005b490b.jpg" style="border-style: none; box-sizing: inherit; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></span></span><div class="image__credit js-image-credit" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.5625rem; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 5px auto 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; text-align: left; text-transform: uppercase; width: 620px;">
<span style="color: white;">PARAMOUNT PICTURES</span></div>
<figcaption class="image__caption js-image-caption" style="border-bottom: 1px dotted rgb(204, 204, 204); box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.75rem; line-height: 16px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 7px; max-width: 100%; padding-bottom: 8px; text-align: left; width: 620px;"><span style="color: white;">Amy Steel as Ginny, Friday the 13th Part 2</span></figcaption></figure><div class="content-list-component text" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px auto; max-width: 730px; min-width: initial; padding: 0px; text-align: start; width: 647px;">
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;">With few exceptions, all others will perish in the Maniac’s path.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;">As Halloween approaches, the 2016 United States Presidential Election is playing out very much like a horror movie. First, we have...</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="color: white;">The Maniac:</span></strong></div>
</div>
<figure class="content-list-component image" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 0; margin: 40px auto; max-width: 100%; min-width: initial; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; width: 647px;"><span class="share-bar-image-wrapper" data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_image"}}" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: block; position: relative;"><span style="color: white;"><img class="image__src" src="http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/scalefit_820_noupscale/57e842011a000019005b4916.jpg" style="border-style: none; box-sizing: inherit; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></span></span><figcaption class="image__caption js-image-caption" style="border-bottom: 1px dotted rgb(204, 204, 204); box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.75rem; line-height: 16px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 7px; max-width: 100%; padding-bottom: 8px; text-align: left; width: 647px;"><span style="color: white;">Donald Trump</span></figcaption></figure><div class="content-list-component text" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px auto; max-width: 730px; min-width: initial; padding: 0px; text-align: start; width: 647px;">
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;">In the GOP primary, the Maniac slayed his way through all of the horror movie victim archetypes.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="color: white;">The Stoner:</span></strong></div>
</div>
<figure class="content-list-component image" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 0; margin: 40px auto; max-width: 100%; min-width: initial; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; width: 647px;"><span class="share-bar-image-wrapper" data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_image"}}" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: block; position: relative;"><span style="color: white;"><img class="image__src" src="http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/crop_116_0_689_631,scalefit_820_noupscale/57e8434e1700001500ac706d.jpg" style="border-style: none; box-sizing: inherit; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></span></span><div class="image__credit js-image-credit" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.5625rem; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 5px auto 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; text-align: left; text-transform: uppercase; width: 647px;">
<span style="color: white;">FOX BUSINESS CHANNEL</span></div>
<figcaption class="image__caption js-image-caption" style="border-bottom: 1px dotted rgb(204, 204, 204); box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.75rem; line-height: 16px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 7px; max-width: 100%; padding-bottom: 8px; text-align: left; width: 647px;"><span style="color: white;">Rand Paul</span></figcaption></figure><div class="content-list-component text" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px auto; max-width: 730px; min-width: initial; padding: 0px; text-align: start; width: 647px;">
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="color: white;">The Mean Girl:</span></strong></div>
</div>
<figure class="content-list-component image" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 0; margin: 40px auto; max-width: 100%; min-width: initial; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; width: 647px;"><span class="share-bar-image-wrapper" data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_image"}}" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: block; position: relative;"><span style="color: white;"><img class="image__src" src="http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/crop_204_0_1214_897,scalefit_820_noupscale/57e843e11700002d00ac7071.jpg" style="border-style: none; box-sizing: inherit; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></span></span><div class="image__credit js-image-credit" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.5625rem; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 5px auto 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; text-align: left; text-transform: uppercase; width: 647px;">
<span style="color: white;">CNN</span></div>
<figcaption class="image__caption js-image-caption" style="border-bottom: 1px dotted rgb(204, 204, 204); box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.75rem; line-height: 16px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 7px; max-width: 100%; padding-bottom: 8px; text-align: left; width: 647px;"><span style="color: white;">Carly Fiorina</span></figcaption></figure><div class="content-list-component text" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px auto; max-width: 730px; min-width: initial; padding: 0px; text-align: start; width: 647px;">
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="color: white;">The Dumb Jock:</span></strong></div>
</div>
<figure class="content-list-component image" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 0; margin: 40px auto; max-width: 100%; min-width: initial; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; width: 647px;"><span class="share-bar-image-wrapper" data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_image"}}" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: block; position: relative;"><span style="color: white;"><img class="image__src" src="http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/crop_261_0_1554_1377,scalefit_820_noupscale/57e844701b00001a00ef2108.jpg" style="border-style: none; box-sizing: inherit; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></span></span><div class="image__credit js-image-credit" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.5625rem; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 5px auto 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; text-align: left; text-transform: uppercase; width: 647px;">
<span style="color: white;">FOX NEWS</span></div>
<figcaption class="image__caption js-image-caption" style="border-bottom: 1px dotted rgb(204, 204, 204); box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.75rem; line-height: 16px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 7px; max-width: 100%; padding-bottom: 8px; text-align: left; width: 647px;"><span style="color: white;">Rick Perry</span></figcaption></figure><div class="content-list-component text" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px auto; max-width: 730px; min-width: initial; padding: 0px; text-align: start; width: 647px;">
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="color: white;">The Nerdy Guy:</span></strong></div>
</div>
<figure class="content-list-component image" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 0; margin: 40px auto; max-width: 100%; min-width: initial; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; width: 647px;"><span class="share-bar-image-wrapper" data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_image"}}" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: block; position: relative;"><span style="color: white;"><img class="image__src" src="http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/crop_97_0_576_421,scalefit_820_noupscale/57e844df1a00002f005b491f.jpg" style="border-style: none; box-sizing: inherit; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></span></span><div class="image__credit js-image-credit" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.5625rem; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 5px auto 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; text-align: left; text-transform: uppercase; width: 576px;">
<span style="color: white;">FOX NEWS</span></div>
<figcaption class="image__caption js-image-caption" style="border-bottom: 1px dotted rgb(204, 204, 204); box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.75rem; line-height: 16px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 7px; max-width: 100%; padding-bottom: 8px; text-align: left; width: 576px;"><span style="color: white;">Bobby Jindal</span></figcaption></figure><div class="content-list-component text" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px auto; max-width: 730px; min-width: initial; padding: 0px; text-align: start; width: 647px;">
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;">and, of course...</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="color: white;">The Condescending Douche:</span></strong></div>
</div>
<figure class="content-list-component image" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 0; margin: 40px auto; max-width: 100%; min-width: initial; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; width: 647px;"><span class="share-bar-image-wrapper" data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_image"}}" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: block; position: relative;"><span style="color: white;"><img class="image__src" src="http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/crop_148_0_880_627,scalefit_820_noupscale/57e8454e1700002e00ac7075.jpg" style="border-style: none; box-sizing: inherit; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></span></span><div class="image__credit js-image-credit" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.5625rem; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 5px auto 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; text-align: left; text-transform: uppercase; width: 647px;">
<span style="color: white;">FOX NEWS</span></div>
<figcaption class="image__caption js-image-caption" style="border-bottom: 1px dotted rgb(204, 204, 204); box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.75rem; line-height: 16px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 7px; max-width: 100%; padding-bottom: 8px; text-align: left; width: 647px;"><span style="color: white;">Ted Cruz</span></figcaption></figure><div class="content-list-component text" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px auto; max-width: 730px; min-width: initial; padding: 0px; text-align: start; width: 647px;">
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;">(along with 11 quickly forgotten extras)</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;">It was a classic Friday the 13th style second act (metaphoric) massacre.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;">If only they had listened to...</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="color: white;">The Small Town Gadfly:</span></strong></div>
</div>
<figure class="content-list-component image" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 0; margin: 40px auto; max-width: 100%; min-width: initial; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; width: 647px;"><span class="share-bar-image-wrapper" data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_image"}}" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: block; position: relative;"><span style="color: white;"><img class="image__src" src="http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/scalefit_820_noupscale/57ed44381a000004055b5b6e.jpg" style="border-style: none; box-sizing: inherit; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></span></span><figcaption class="image__caption js-image-caption" style="border-bottom: 1px dotted rgb(204, 204, 204); box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.75rem; line-height: 16px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 7px; max-width: 100%; padding-bottom: 8px; text-align: left; width: 500px;"><span style="color: white;">Senator Bernie Sanders</span></figcaption></figure><div class="content-list-component text" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px auto; max-width: 730px; min-width: initial; padding: 0px; text-align: start; width: 647px;">
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;">...who was actually telling them the truth about the danger ahead.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;">Maniac Trump didn’t use physical violence for his political massacre (<a data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_text","lnid":"citation","mpid":3,"plid":"a_list_of_violent_incidents_at_donald_trump_rallies_and_events.html"}}" href="http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2016/03/02/a_list_of_violent_incidents_at_donald_trump_rallies_and_events.html" style="box-sizing: inherit;" target="_blank">though he incited plenty</a>), but instead used violent acerbic rhetoric to turn the GOP primary into a cesspool of cuckolding which favored his well honed grade school bullying skills and led him to victory.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;">In horror movies, the Maniac acts out our own dark shadow side and the audience cheers him on. These movies are a safe space to witness the most primal, shadowy base aspects of our own human nature without anyone (save for a few acting careers) being hurt.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;">Similarly, Donald Trump, can be as nasty, churlish, and rude as he wants to be in rallies, debates, and interviews and his fans will still cheer him on. They feel cheated by Washington, left behind by free trade, and terrified by increased tolerance of racial, sexual and religious minorities.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;">They see Trump as an avenging angel who will wipe out all the things they fear and hate. He — like Freddy, Jason or Michael Myers — is the avatar for their (increasingly less) repressed shadow self.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;">It’s human nature. Somewhere deep down, we all want to act out like an angry child against a world that is often frightening, confusing and chaotic.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;">However, unlike a darkened movie theater or living room, the White House is no safe space to put an avatar for our most primal and tribal instincts.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;">Because Trump is not just a threat to the usual victims — low income people and minorities.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;">Trump is an existential threat to our democracy and everyone who lives in it.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;">Trump is a man with <a data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_text","lnid":"citation","mpid":4,"plid":"dbdcaac8-31a6-11e6-8ff7-7b6c1998b7a0_story.html"}}" href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/inside-trumps-financial-ties-to-russia-and-his-unusual-flattery-of-vladimir-putin/2016/06/17/dbdcaac8-31a6-11e6-8ff7-7b6c1998b7a0_story.html" style="box-sizing: inherit;" target="_blank">business ties to the ex-KGB dictator of Russia</a>. He <a data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_text","lnid":"citation","mpid":5,"plid":"how-donald-trump-is-breathing-life-into-americas-dying-white-supremacist-movement/"}}" href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/12/21/how-donald-trump-is-breathing-life-into-americas-dying-white-supremacist-movement/" style="box-sizing: inherit;" target="_blank">incites white racial resentment in violent and dangerous ways</a>, <a data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_text","lnid":"citation","mpid":6,"plid":"adc88f9c-7d11-11e6-ac8e-cf8e0dd91dc7_story.html"}}" href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trump-used-258000-from-his-charity-to-settle-legal-problems/2016/09/20/adc88f9c-7d11-11e6-ac8e-cf8e0dd91dc7_story.html" style="box-sizing: inherit;" target="_blank">uses his own non-profit foundation as a slush fund to pay off legal fees</a>, <a data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_text","lnid":"citation","mpid":7,"plid":"http://reverbpress.com/politics/whiner-in-chief-trump-has-twitter-melt-down-of-epic-proportions-tweets/"}}" href="http://reverbpress.com/politics/whiner-in-chief-trump-has-twitter-melt-down-of-epic-proportions-tweets/" style="box-sizing: inherit;" target="_blank">acts out on Twitter like a tween whenever his feelings get hurt</a>, <a data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_text","lnid":"citation","mpid":8,"plid":"http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/trump-hints-learned-classified-briefing/story?id=41938079"}}" href="http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/trump-hints-learned-classified-briefing/story?id=41938079" style="box-sizing: inherit;" target="_blank">blabs about top secret security briefings</a> (and <a data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_text","lnid":"citation","mpid":9,"plid":"http://www.dailywire.com/news/9070/cia-director-trump-lied-about-his-intelligence-joshua-yasmeh#"}}" href="http://www.dailywire.com/news/9070/cia-director-trump-lied-about-his-intelligence-joshua-yasmeh#" style="box-sizing: inherit;" target="_blank">lies while doing it</a>) and<a data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_text","lnid":"citation","mpid":10,"plid":"http://www.economist.com/blogs/democracyinamerica/2016/08/bad-press"}}" href="http://www.economist.com/blogs/democracyinamerica/2016/08/bad-press" style="box-sizing: inherit;" target="_blank">threatens the freedom of the press</a> we need to ensure there are checks and balances on those in power.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;">He also makes <a data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_text","lnid":"citation","mpid":11,"plid":"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RL903VfnPRI"}}" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RL903VfnPRI" style="box-sizing: inherit;" target="_blank">creepy sexual comments about his daughter</a> and <a data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_text","lnid":"citation","mpid":12,"plid":"http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/donald-trump-hints-at-hillary-clinton-assassination-w433591"}}" href="http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/donald-trump-hints-at-hillary-clinton-assassination-w433591" style="box-sizing: inherit;" target="_blank">disturbing comments about someone assassinating his rival</a>.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;">Trump is also a <a data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_text","lnid":"citation","mpid":13,"plid":"http://www.politifact.com/personalities/donald-trump/"}}" href="http://www.politifact.com/personalities/donald-trump/" style="box-sizing: inherit;" target="_blank">bald faced liar</a> who goes far above and beyond the usual level of half-truths and weasel words we have come to expect from our political figures.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;">So, my fellow Americans, if you are seeing this year’s Presidential Election as a horror movie, and you are as concerned as I am about the survival of democracy, it’s time to buck up because we are now in the third and final act.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;">All of the other characters have been slayed.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"><a data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_text","lnid":"citation","mpid":14,"plid":"http://www.freepresshouston.com/voting-third-party-is-the-electoral-equivalent-of-sending-thoughts-and-prayers/"}}" href="http://www.freepresshouston.com/voting-third-party-is-the-electoral-equivalent-of-sending-thoughts-and-prayers/" style="box-sizing: inherit;" target="_blank">No third party candidate is coming to the rescue</a>.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;">We are left with only one person who can stop the Maniac.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;">She is bookish, quiet, observant, maybe a bit of a tomboy. She’s not the sexy one. But she is our only hope.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;">It’s time to face the fact that Hillary Clinton is...</span></div>
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<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="color: white;">The Final Girl:</span></strong></div>
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<figure class="content-list-component image" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 0; margin: 40px auto; max-width: 100%; min-width: initial; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; width: 647px;"><span class="share-bar-image-wrapper" data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_image"}}" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: block; position: relative;"><span style="color: white;"><img class="image__src" src="http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/crop_74_0_444_755,scalefit_820_noupscale/57e849cc1700001500ac707f.jpg" style="border-style: none; box-sizing: inherit; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></span></span><div class="image__credit js-image-credit" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.5625rem; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 5px auto 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; text-align: left; text-transform: uppercase; width: 444px;">
<span style="color: white;">JOHN M. HURLEY</span></div>
<figcaption class="image__caption js-image-caption" style="border-bottom: 1px dotted rgb(204, 204, 204); box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.75rem; line-height: 16px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 7px; max-width: 100%; padding-bottom: 8px; text-align: left; width: 444px;"><span style="color: white;">Hillary Clinton</span></figcaption></figure><div class="content-list-component text" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px auto; max-width: 730px; min-width: initial; padding: 0px; text-align: start; width: 647px;">
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<span style="color: white;">Like Jamie Lee Curtis, Sigourney Weaver, Neve Campbell and all of the others who have come before her, only Hillary Clinton can (metaphorically) cut off the head of this uniquely American monster.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;">Only Hillary, with her blend of pragmatism, political prowess, practical progressivism, and ability to take and throw a political punch can stop the maniac from getting his<a data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_text","lnid":"citation","mpid":15,"plid":"https://www.donaldtrumphastinyhands.com/"}}" href="https://www.donaldtrumphastinyhands.com/" style="box-sizing: inherit;" target="_blank">absurdly tiny hands</a> on the red nuclear button.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white;">Like all of the best heroines, she is flawed, but we should all be rooting for her to succeed this November.</span></div>
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<a data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_text","lnid":"citation","mpid":16,"plid":"https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwiNnuKhqrDPAhVH-mMKHQREC_AQyCkIIzAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DsGUNPMPrxvA&usg=AFQjCNGPIZk8-keZCb711fd2MSwgMOpO4Q&sig2=NKLEvcQ2syOm3okD2CL2sA"}}" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwiNnuKhqrDPAhVH-mMKHQREC_AQyCkIIzAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DsGUNPMPrxvA&usg=AFQjCNGPIZk8-keZCb711fd2MSwgMOpO4Q&sig2=NKLEvcQ2syOm3okD2CL2sA" style="box-sizing: inherit;" target="_blank"><span style="color: white;">The alternative is unthinkable...</span></a></div>
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<div class="content-list-component text" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px auto; max-width: 730px; min-width: initial; padding: 0px; text-align: start; width: 647px;">
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<span style="color: white;">If we are lucky, this election ends like a horror movie — with Final Girl Hillary bloodied and exhausted, but triumphantly standing over the political corpse of fascism, white supremacy, bullying, homophobia, and racism that Donald Trump represents and empowers.</span></div>
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<figure class="content-list-component image" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 0; margin: 40px auto; max-width: 100%; min-width: initial; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; width: 647px;"><span class="share-bar-image-wrapper" data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_image"}}" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: block; position: relative;"><span style="color: white;"><img class="image__src" src="http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/crop_78_0_464_379,scalefit_820_noupscale/57e84ca71700002e00ac7084.jpg" style="border-style: none; box-sizing: inherit; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></span></span><div class="image__credit js-image-credit" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.5625rem; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 5px auto 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; text-align: left; text-transform: uppercase; width: 464px;">
<span style="color: white;">DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION</span></div>
<figcaption class="image__caption js-image-caption" style="border-bottom: 1px dotted rgb(204, 204, 204); box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.75rem; line-height: 16px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 7px; max-width: 100%; padding-bottom: 8px; text-align: left; width: 464px;"><span style="color: white;">Hillary Clinton</span></figcaption></figure><div class="content-list-component text" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px auto; max-width: 730px; min-width: initial; padding: 0px; text-align: start; width: 647px;">
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<span style="color: white;">Unfortunately, even if our Final Girl is victorious, we must also remember another truth about the archetypal horror movie Maniac...</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1.0625rem; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 20px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: white;">He is never permanently defeated... and always comes back stronger in the sequel.</span></div>
</div>
<figure class="content-list-component image" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 0; margin: 40px auto; max-width: 100%; min-width: initial; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; width: 647px;"><span class="share-bar-image-wrapper" data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_image"}}" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: block; position: relative;"><span style="color: white;"><img class="image__src" src="http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/crop_81_0_486_319,scalefit_820_noupscale/57e84d411b00001e00ef211d.jpg" style="border-style: none; box-sizing: inherit; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></span></span><figcaption class="image__caption js-image-caption" style="border-bottom: 1px dotted rgb(204, 204, 204); box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.75rem; line-height: 16px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 7px; max-width: 100%; padding-bottom: 8px; text-align: left; width: 486px;"><span style="color: white;">Donald Trump</span></figcaption></figure><div class="content-list-component text" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 1.5em; margin: 0px auto; max-width: 730px; min-width: initial; padding: 0px; text-align: start; width: 647px;">
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<span style="color: white;">Watch your back, Hillary! Trump TV launches in 2017...</span></div>
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<figure class="content-list-component image" style="box-sizing: inherit; line-height: 0; margin: 40px auto; max-width: 100%; min-width: initial; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; width: 647px;"><span class="share-bar-image-wrapper" data-beacon="{"p":{"mnid":"entry_image"}}" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: block; position: relative;"><span style="color: white;"><img class="image__src" src="http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/scalefit_820_noupscale/57e86b341a00002f005b4965.jpg" style="border-style: none; box-sizing: inherit; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" /></span></span><div class="image__credit js-image-credit" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.5625rem; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 5px auto 0px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; text-align: left; text-transform: uppercase; width: 600px;">
<span style="color: white;">PARAMOUNT PICTURES</span></div>
<figcaption class="image__caption js-image-caption" style="border-bottom: 1px dotted rgb(204, 204, 204); box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 0.75rem; line-height: 16px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 7px; max-width: 100%; padding-bottom: 8px; text-align: left; width: 600px;"><span style="color: white;">Friday the 13th, Part 2</span></figcaption></figure></span></figure>timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-72859328064035640252014-10-28T09:52:00.001-07:002014-10-28T09:53:48.230-07:00John Carpenter's Halloween (2014) Modernized Trailer <br />
Happy Halloween!<br />
<br />
Check out this re-cut and modernized Halloween (1978) trailer, courtesy of the endlessly talented <a href="http://www.adameyster.com/">Adam Eyster</a>. You will be glad you did....<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/kNyWct1deQY?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-20607797264890298942011-12-20T07:54:00.001-08:002011-12-20T07:54:26.486-08:00Bluecat Interview<p><img style="display: inline; float: left" align="left" src="http://www.jobcontax.com/uploads/pics/inerview.gif" width="236" height="236" />Hey y’all. Ever wonder what I’m doing during these long interminable dry spells between posts? Well, I’m writing screenplays, that’s what. And someone over at <a href="http://www.bluecatscreenplay.com/" target="_blank">Bluecat Screenwriting Competition</a> decided to interview me about it.</p> <p> </p> <p>You can read the whole thing <a href="http://myemail.constantcontact.com/Interview--Timothy-Grant.html?soid=1100387766214&aid=GLbtuAJj3m4" target="_blank">here</a>. <a href="http://myemail.constantcontact.com/Interview--Timothy-Grant.html?soid=1100387766214&aid=GLbtuAJj3m4" target="_blank">Check it out</a>, <a href="http://myemail.constantcontact.com/Interview--Timothy-Grant.html?soid=1100387766214&aid=GLbtuAJj3m4" target="_blank">won’t you</a>?</p> <p>But if you are all like “I’m not clicking on one more link today and could give a crusty eye boog about his half-witted thoughts on screenwriting”, then I say to you … fine … be that way! But just read this one part where I talk about PMD and horror movies and shnizzle…</p> <p>---</p> <p><strong>BLUECAT: You maintain a blog, Post Mortem Depression, about slasher films from the 1970s. What draws you to this specific genre, and do you think modern horror directors could learn something from the films of this period?</strong> </p> <p>Tim Grant: My Dad used to bring me to the Drive-Ins when I was a kid. I grew up on <em>Halloween</em>, <em>Friday the 13th</em>, <em>Dawn of the Dead</em> -- all of the great and not-so-great horror flicks of the late 70s and early 80s. Those Friday and Saturday nights are among my favorite childhood memories.</p> <p>In terms of modern horror movies, I’ve been generally disappointed with the lack of character development and story. They often make the mistake of focusing on the monster instead of the heroine (she is usually female). If the heroine is flat and the demon doesn’t line up with the psychological problem she needs to solve, then it just seems to be a parade of gore without purpose to me.</p> <p>But this was even true in the “golden age” of horror in the 70s and 80s. You had classics like <em>The Exorcist</em>, <em>Halloween</em>, and <em>Texas Chainsaw Massacre</em>, but you also had shoddy imitators like <em>Beyond the Door</em>, <em>New Year’s Evil</em> and <em>Pieces</em>. The thing about bad movies of that era is that they were low-budget and looked like crap, so they are fun and cheesy and get a pass on story. </p> <p>The newer bad horror films have big budgets and expensive effects, but haven’t really upped the ante in the story and character department, which is too bad, because the story-crafting part is comparatively cheap.</p> <p>But there are some great 21st century horror movies: <em>Martyrs, Wolf Creek, Eden Lake, Lake Mungo, The Descent, Let Me In / Let the Right One In,  Trick r’ Treat, [rec], Zombieland, House of the Devil</em>, probably a bunch I’m forgetting. Each one took familiar genre elements and did something very fresh with them while paying close attention to story and character.</p> <p>In general, I think horror gets a bad rap. There are certainly lots of bad horror movies out there, but the genre as a whole still gets maligned as harmful by some who claim to be spiritual or psychological. I find this ironic, since at the core of all great religions and depth psychology is the basic idea that the path to wholeness always starts with a descent into the darkness and a confrontation with our demons. It is an archetypal human growth cycle and horror movies provide a safe, communal, fun way to engage in it.</p> <p>Jung said “to confront a person with his Shadow is to show him his own light," and I can’t say it any better than that.</p> timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-74726769559287555072011-11-27T22:20:00.001-08:002011-11-29T16:00:02.150-08:00Poltergeist II: A Reckoning<i>Poltergeist II </i>is considered the better of the two <i>Poltergeist </i>sequels.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://aptn.ca/pages/flick/files/2010/10/Poltergeist-II.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://aptn.ca/pages/flick/files/2010/10/Poltergeist-II.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
That's technically correct. However, despite having most of the original cast and a decent budget, <i>Poltergeist II</i> sucks almost as bad as <i>Poltergeist III</i> (which at least sucked in a campy, fun way). So when grading on a curve, <i>PII </i>sucks much harder and longer than <i>PIII</i>. It is not just a little step-down from the brilliance of the <i>PI</i>, it is a drop off of a cliff straight into a valley of maggoty mule shit laced with rusty razor blades.<br />
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At least Dominique Dunne had the good taste to pass on this mess.<br />
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What’s that? She was murdered by her psycho-douchetwat boyfriend before filming started an he got off with voluntary manslaughter? Well, Rest in Peace girl, and <u>fuck him</u>!<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-tI7NN4lRljM/TtMoBdNpRAI/AAAAAAAAA6E/6mViiGfkuiw/s1600-h/Dom-Dunne-FU%25255B2%25255D.jpg"><img alt="Dom-Dunne-FU" border="0" height="244" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-HMYwaP48uIE/TtMoBoSxipI/AAAAAAAAA6M/OXZPGlzF16E/Dom-Dunne-FU_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="Dom-Dunne-FU" width="206" /></a><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-o14_wi70G_s/TtMoB3QYCyI/AAAAAAAAA6U/YjDfz_UpVpE/s1600-h/John%252520Thomas%252520Sweeney%252520%252528003%252529%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img alt="John Thomas Sweeney (003)" border="0" height="244" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-uTbq6-gAZzc/TtMoCLIIwkI/AAAAAAAAA6c/Eaqh9y2BYa8/John%252520Thomas%252520Sweeney%252520%252528003%252529_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="John Thomas Sweeney (003)" width="150" /></a></div><br />
And while we are at it, in a celebration of the heavenly fuck-you spirit of Dominique Dunne, let’s send her iconic one-fingered salute to all the many elements of this sequel that make it suck so bad:<br />
<br />
(1) Fuck the fact that formerly geography-bound ghosts can follow the Frelings to another state. Plot convenience bullshit… <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-_o7Ct22Fw_Y/TtMoCSu9QrI/AAAAAAAAA6k/1o11OSm1Mrw/s1600-h/p2---house%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img alt="p2---house" border="0" height="196" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/--Lzf9bgHKF4/TtMoCmyjZ3I/AAAAAAAAA6s/ZzT1bo2G_uw/p2---house_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="p2---house" width="222" /></a><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-d8KdoB8g8vQ/TtMoCy1YP5I/AAAAAAAAA60/wwsdgTBEZw8/s1600-h/Dom-Dunne-FU-from-right%25255B9%25255D.jpg"><img alt="Dom-Dunne-FU-from-right" border="0" height="204" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-4xLenQpi_2s/TtMoDG3_04I/AAAAAAAAA68/prGjZZIkPss/Dom-Dunne-FU-from-right_thumb%25255B5%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="Dom-Dunne-FU-from-right" width="167" /></a></div><br />
(1) Fuck the dippy white suburban liberal faux Native American sweat-lodgicism. Take that burning bundle of sage and stick it …<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-DzkYZFy-hfw/TtMoDUTSX4I/AAAAAAAAA7E/XAEXz-oWLGo/s1600-h/Dom-Dunne-FU%25255B12%25255D.jpg"><img alt="Dom-Dunne-FU" border="0" height="181" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-Mk-TZKOF-VU/TtMoDikTgCI/AAAAAAAAA7M/gt0k6muelL8/Dom-Dunne-FU_thumb%25255B7%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="Dom-Dunne-FU" width="131" /></a><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-eO2SQ-Tu6-s/TtMoEHJ_c2I/AAAAAAAAA7U/7WXqVnKnkIU/s1600-h/P2-Sweat-Lodge-2%25255B7%25255D.jpg"><img alt="P2-Sweat-Lodge-2" border="0" height="180" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-3UmQFSse42E/TtMoE9375UI/AAAAAAAAA7c/uBM6LXz9aZc/P2-Sweat-Lodge-2_thumb%25255B5%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="P2-Sweat-Lodge-2" width="277" /></a></div><br />
(2) Fuck the tequila-worm-possessed Craig T. Nelson getting rapey with JoBeth Williams like some Dad-jeaned hillbilly to her pink-housecoated Ned Beatty. NOBODY PAID TO SEE THIS…<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-FOKUUG1U4_Q/TtMoFCrcQtI/AAAAAAAAA7k/F2IoX563OYg/s1600-h/p2-rape%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img alt="p2-rape" border="0" height="159" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-aqp9BX4K8jw/TtMoFiWp6vI/AAAAAAAAA7s/cypC7itTEh4/p2-rape_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="p2-rape" width="283" /></a><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-XA-qiR79ALs/TtMoFx-NosI/AAAAAAAAA70/AcXX-Ya3_wE/s1600-h/Dom-Dunne-FU-from-right%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img alt="Dom-Dunne-FU-from-right" border="0" height="153" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-6IQmoHI78Zs/TtMoGO_dXSI/AAAAAAAAA78/389uVb2Q-lA/Dom-Dunne-FU-from-right_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="Dom-Dunne-FU-from-right" width="124" /></a></div><br />
(3) And for love of all motherfuckery, if you are going to promise to take us to the <i>OTHER SIDE</i> … into the ghostworld of the fucked up tree-eating, jelly-smearing, TV squatting brilliant spirits of the first movie, it motherfucking better not look like actors grafted onto the background of your least favorite Windows screensaver. FUCK THAT!<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-d86pzsnJI9o/TtMoGMw_VaI/AAAAAAAAA8E/XCFbN0zPT1c/s1600-h/Dom-Dunne-FU%25255B18%25255D.jpg"><img alt="Dom-Dunne-FU" border="0" height="153" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-NOAU9OgKUqk/TtMoGRf2BtI/AAAAAAAAA8M/P7HR1LvgS6g/Dom-Dunne-FU_thumb%25255B10%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="Dom-Dunne-FU" width="106" /></a><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-6gM11Z6bl_E/TtMoG6pT0yI/AAAAAAAAA8U/EzB9eH76phg/s1600-h/p2---other-side%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img alt="p2---other-side" border="0" height="143" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-qqQ-aUMfu8w/TtMoIPY1ssI/AAAAAAAAA8c/WPiotLLpbe0/p2---other-side_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="p2---other-side" width="300" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-5YyNhnaL5Nc/TtMoIdxlyNI/AAAAAAAAA8k/ZQOTada3B8M/s1600-h/p2---other-side-2%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img alt="p2---other-side-2" border="0" height="137" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-VWbfMcv3PCM/TtMoIrhQbLI/AAAAAAAAA8s/6gmk990tPOM/p2---other-side-2_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="p2---other-side-2" width="291" /></a><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-jwp0WoG-bGI/TtMoI0tLKpI/AAAAAAAAA80/bfOpqFV5WnE/s1600-h/Dom-Dunne-FU-from-right%25255B16%25255D.jpg"><img alt="Dom-Dunne-FU-from-right" border="0" height="145" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-_Tly5FiVNx0/TtMoJGN1zNI/AAAAAAAAA88/jAS4H_0kQ60/Dom-Dunne-FU-from-right_thumb%25255B10%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="Dom-Dunne-FU-from-right" width="113" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Yeah, I know it was 1986. No excuse. Watch <i>Alien</i>. That was 1978.)</span></div><br />
(4) And fuck all the family group hugs and declarations of love that are like holy water against this supposedly relentless evil. Nothing scary should be conquerable with several well placed “I-love-you-honeys.”<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-VQdOu6qNk-I/TtMoJQadIgI/AAAAAAAAA9E/0XoLFsxZ7fk/s1600-h/Dom-Dunne-FU%25255B22%25255D.jpg"><img alt="Dom-Dunne-FU" border="0" height="137" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-7iVmhWK_GnE/TtMoJcO-vjI/AAAAAAAAA9M/eOeY-twQwlQ/Dom-Dunne-FU_thumb%25255B12%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="Dom-Dunne-FU" width="114" /></a><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-M342PSw87Jo/TtMoJyO1_YI/AAAAAAAAA9U/WlZ9WvqB-eA/s1600-h/p2---group-hug%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img alt="p2---group-hug" border="0" height="129" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-eyyzO0280EM/TtMoKEbqbdI/AAAAAAAAA9c/aLqVVmQQxEo/p2---group-hug_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="p2---group-hug" width="285" /></a></div><br />
(5) And fuck the Deux-ex-Grandmama saving Carol Ann from the light and bringing this cinematic turd to a conclusion befitting of a very special episode of <i>Touched By an Angel</i>…<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-sWrTcCltMuc/TtMoKc3NCSI/AAAAAAAAA9k/kBYbkKz9Ufw/s1600-h/PS---Saved-by-an-Angel%25255B2%25255D.jpg"><img alt="PS---Saved-by-an-Angel" border="0" height="175" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-5Sg6E5neX5g/TtMoKkKrfZI/AAAAAAAAA9s/Eyd6t_Wr5lY/PS---Saved-by-an-Angel_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="PS---Saved-by-an-Angel" width="244" /></a><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-8a7QqG2VwLA/TtMoK87QVPI/AAAAAAAAA90/yBHb9rW5A-I/s1600-h/Dom-Dunne-FU-from-right%25255B21%25255D.jpg"><img alt="Dom-Dunne-FU-from-right" border="0" height="168" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-2b1FqDrdQ8U/TtMoLByN8CI/AAAAAAAAA98/Tpc0b13Psc0/Dom-Dunne-FU-from-right_thumb%25255B13%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="Dom-Dunne-FU-from-right" width="137" /></a></div><br />
<b>In Memoriam:</b> <br />
With all profanity-laced kidding aside, the talent that was lost along the way of the Poltergeist series is mind-boggling. Who knows what other brilliant performances we missed out on due to the untimely deaths of three talented actors. It’s a testament to their talent that <i>Poltergeist II’s</i> suckery does not diminish any of their work.<br />
<br />
<b>Julian Beck (1925-1985):</b><br />
Julian Beck’s Kane remains the saving grace of this otherwise dismal sequel and, despite all of the shit-smeared-on-celluloid in this film, his performance remains one of the most chilling and memorable in horror cinema history.<br />
<div align="center"><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-lbwtC4OAG6o/TtMoLm9jKiI/AAAAAAAAA-E/aq5pJqGC52w/s1600-h/rainkane7%25255B2%25255D.jpg"><img alt="rainkane7" border="0" height="184" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-mm3tde59SlA/TtMoL-5kF3I/AAAAAAAAA-M/ePK1Hd0zpv8/rainkane7_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="rainkane7" width="244" /></a></div><div align="left">Fuck you, stomach cancer.</div><br />
<b>Heather O’Rourke (1975-1988):</b><br />
Heather O’Rourke is the only cast member in all three Poltergeist films. She is the epitome of innocence and naïve openness to the world that good people should seek to protect from evil and corruption. One wonders how much better the not-completely-terrible third installment might have been had she lived to complete production.<br />
<div align="center"><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-WO7jndaC8Io/TtMoLzhpByI/AAAAAAAAA-U/K3y74xghwuk/s1600-h/poltergeist-carol-anne%25255B2%25255D.jpg"><img alt="poltergeist-carol-anne" border="0" height="185" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-lBBlbmgGGN0/TtMoMIqBFaI/AAAAAAAAA-c/YH1iB75gbCk/poltergeist-carol-anne_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="poltergeist-carol-anne" width="244" /></a></div><div align="left">Fuck you intestinal stenosis.</div><br />
<b>Dominique Dunne (1959-1982):</b><br />
In the original movie, Dominique Dunne gives one of my favorite plucky teen girl performances this side of Reese Witherspoon in <i>Freeway</i>. When she arrives home, exits her car, sees her supposedly clean house in a state of paranormal distress and screams…<br />
<div align="center"><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-bIJxFOvFY04/TtMoMSpeV4I/AAAAAAAAA-k/TfI5K__cxBs/s1600-h/dd_poltergeistpic07%252520what%252527s%252520happening.%25255B5%25255D.jpg"><img alt="dd_poltergeistpic07 what's happening." border="0" height="165" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-1tCmhPSq4Eo/TtMoMnm9ZtI/AAAAAAAAA-s/yrCRv2PpiGk/dd_poltergeistpic07%252520what%252527s%252520happening._thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="dd_poltergeistpic07 what's happening." width="244" /></a></div><div align="center"><i>What’s happening?!?!</i></div>… it never ceases to give me chills.<br />
<br />
Fuck you John Thomas Sweeney, or whatever name you go by these days. I hope you are living a miserable loveless, toothless, meth-addicted existence, and doing horsey porn to make rental payments on a rusted trailer parked on a sewage dump.<br />
<br />
I hope the demons of regret and shame follow and haunt your psychotic ass until you unceremoniously pass to the Other Side with only the diner ladies even noticing you’re missing.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/--UbYKJx3cmU/TtMpK4KHgHI/AAAAAAAAA_Q/WuCWM_01mzU/s1600-h/p2-diner-ladies%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img alt="p2-diner-ladies" border="0" height="188" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-j2NNUr3HWIo/TtMpLAKS6GI/AAAAAAAAA_Y/SDtINTiY-XM/p2-diner-ladies_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-color: -moz-use-text-color; border-style: none; border-width: 0px; display: inline; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="p2-diner-ladies" width="405" /></a></div><div align="center"><i>That worthless piece of shit owed me a dime-bag.</i></div>timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-68617607695192361952011-11-18T15:48:00.000-08:002011-11-18T15:48:14.719-08:00Review Haiku: Martha Marcy May Marlene, We Need to Talk About Kevin, The Ward<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://images1.variety.com/graphics/photos/_BigDaddy330/MarthaMarcyMayMarlene.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="208" src="http://images1.variety.com/graphics/photos/_BigDaddy330/MarthaMarcyMayMarlene.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><u>Martha Marcy May Marlene</u></div><div style="text-align: center;">Haunting, gripping piece<br />
A star-making performance<br />
Just needs an ending</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www-movieline-com.vimg.net/images/weneedto630.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://www-movieline-com.vimg.net/images/weneedto630.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><u>We Need to Talk About Kevin</u><br />
Masterfully shot;<br />
Swinton rocks, but two hours of<br />
pointless misery.</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://dailygrindhouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/the-ward-amber-heard.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="136" src="http://dailygrindhouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/the-ward-amber-heard.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><u>The Ward</u><br />
Carpenter could rest<br />
on Halloween and The Thing;<br />
The Ward proves he should.</div>timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-55115087310797147422011-09-05T21:59:00.001-07:002011-09-05T21:59:51.989-07:00Review Haiku: Red State<p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-0-LBbO2-ZwY/TmWeB7XNdgI/AAAAAAAAA3w/Q5dZsVUNUnM/KevinSmithPic2%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="KevinSmithPic2" border="0" alt="KevinSmithPic2" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-TScBJx7dV2k/TmWeCyWtqkI/AAAAAAAAA30/fWtQ4nQAi_k/KevinSmithPic2_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="126" /></a></p> <p>God hates false witness.  <br />God hates false equivalence. <br />God hates this movie.</p> timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-73876001123570423212011-08-05T10:14:00.000-07:002011-08-05T10:14:26.566-07:00Final Destination meets Saved By the Bell...Sounds like a bad Hollywood pitch, but it turns out to be a VERY entertaining music video...<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/_lNEQAXX43g" width="560"></iframe>timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-7253723887156711272011-07-18T20:13:00.000-07:002011-07-19T10:21:21.778-07:00Review: Cold Prey (2006)Despite having a somewhat neurotic fear-based personality, I can name a great many things that have never scared me – furry kittens, the letter J, neck fuzz, Liberal agendas, Trapper Keepers, Norwegians…<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><img height="312" src="http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/iamerikaasgaard/AngryNorwegians.png" width="387" /></div><br />
Yes, Norwegians. With one of the highest <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_Development_Index">human development index</a> rankings in the world, Norwegians are born entitled to government healthcare, free college tuition and oral sex on demand. It is the Miss Naughty Niceypants of countries. Even tolerant Socialist slut Sweden has been known to occasionally reach over, grab Norway by the ankles and give it a swirly.<br />
<br />
So when the illustrious <a href="http://finalgirl.blogspot.com/">Stacie Ponder over at Final Girl</a> assigned her fellow horror bloggers the Norwegian horror film <i>Cold Prey</i> to <a href="http://finalgirl.blogspot.com/2011/06/lets-do-this.html" target="_blank">review for her Film Club</a>, I had expectations as low as the Norwegian wind chill factor. <br />
<br />
Because Norwegians aren’t scary. Need proof? Consider Norwegian rap music….<br />
<br />
<div class="wlWriterEditableSmartContent" id="scid:5737277B-5D6D-4f48-ABFC-DD9C333F4C5D:cdc29f75-aaae-4897-8b21-02e5e25e260f" style="display: inline; float: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div id="b12e6287-2c45-4f54-aadb-d58edf850c77" style="display: inline; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mjPzRzHXZA&feature=related" target="_new"><img alt="" galleryimg="no" onload="var downlevelDiv = document.getElementById('b12e6287-2c45-4f54-aadb-d58edf850c77'); downlevelDiv.innerHTML = "<div><object width=\"398\" height=\"223\"><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http://www.youtube.com/v/6mjPzRzHXZA?hl=en&hd=1\"><\/param><embed src=\"http://www.youtube.com/v/6mjPzRzHXZA?hl=en&hd=1\" type=\"application/x-shockwave-flash\" width=\"398\" height=\"223\"><\/embed><\/object><\/div>";" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-YpZYRLW6Vq8/TiUBPx6uoxI/AAAAAAAAA3U/LpqmTNFlig0/video56bd82b89f42%25255B135%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="border-style: none;" /></a></div><div style="clear: both; font-size: 0.8em; text-align: center; width: 398px;"><br />
</div></div>Now stop considering it entirely. Now look at their athletes…<br />
<br />
<a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-Nuc9K6RDxvU/TiUBQVPpsdI/AAAAAAAAA2o/E7gvQdkFT5o/s1600-h/norwegians%252520%2525281%252529%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img alt="norwegians (1)" border="0" height="208" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-vQt0zHxWg5o/TiUBQr02HfI/AAAAAAAAA2s/po7RKAnklhg/norwegians%252520%2525281%252529_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border: 0px none; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="norwegians (1)" width="302" /></a><br />
<br />
And last but definitely least, consider their most lasting contribution to Rock and Roll… <i>a-ha</i>…<br />
<br />
<a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-CBWQIz9Tdls/TiUBRf_tKxI/AAAAAAAAA2w/aefO9jIarwk/s1600-h/A-Ha_6694%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img alt="A-Ha_6694" border="0" height="311" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-ST1QBbZXg4s/TiUBRv31ZyI/AAAAAAAAA20/8x3939FDbow/A-Ha_6694_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border: 0px none; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="A-Ha_6694" width="223" /></a><br />
<br />
I'm sorry, but no primal emotion can be evoked by a man in high-wasted Mom jeans with a gay-porn-power-bottom-over-the-shoulder-come-hither-stare. (I am also quite certain that this picture must be used somewhere for denim-aversion therapy.)<br />
<br />
So Norway - not scary, not sexy. Charming, sweet, safe, perhaps a bit nipple-hardening in the weather department. But nothing from there could possibly disturb the core hypothalamus of my lizard brain.<br />
<br />
But, would <i>Cold Prey</i> change my mind? Would this little plucky slasher movie have me trembling in fear at the sight of a masked Norwegian madman?<br />
<br />
<i>Cold Prey</i> opens with a young boy being chased through the snow. Soon after, we are introduced to our horror movie douchebags. To make things simple, lets call them <i>Horny Couple</i>, <i>Sensible Couple</i>, and <i>Annoying Understandably Single Redhead Geek</i>.<br />
<br />
I'm not a betting man, but if I was I would have placed my marker on the female half of <i>Sensible Couple</i> to be the survivor. She has that not-too-sexy, but hey-I’m-not-a-Lesbian way about her that just screams <a href="http://finalgirl.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Final Girl</a>.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-_XIPp6RrA9Q/TiUBSw1143I/AAAAAAAAA24/N_sToJygCN0/s1600-h/1606pt8fd61eb%25255B3%25255D.png"><img alt="1606pt8fd61eb" border="0" height="210" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-5RAKq2ET6Xc/TiUBTdAHAYI/AAAAAAAAA28/1uFugcB05bY/1606pt8fd61eb_thumb%25255B1%25255D.png?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border: 0px none; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="1606pt8fd61eb" width="360" /></a><br />
<br />
The <i>Remote Place Where The Douchebags Will Get Slaughtered</i> is an abandoned ski lodge. Once there, all of the slasher movie rules will be adhered to as if <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079239/" target="_blank">The Great Santini</a> was hovering over the director and ordering a drop-and-gimme-20 every time he strayed.<br />
<br />
Yes, the slut will be slaughtered first, weapons will be ignored or dropped, guns will run out of bullets at the worst time, the killer will keep walls of newspaper clippings to make it easy for our survivors to figure out his identity, and victims will cower inside of small spaces instead of mounting a likely successful joint assault on the killer. And by killer, I mean this guy…<br />
<br />
<a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-9OqSXDKoHxM/TiUBTusaV3I/AAAAAAAAA3A/LhBK0sjn52c/s1600-h/cold-prey-dvd-review--20090220101320962-000%25255B7%25255D.jpg"><img alt="cold-prey-dvd-review--20090220101320962-000" border="0" height="275" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-XdDmitj-9m8/TiUBUMdZahI/AAAAAAAAA3E/3jnSKGJcUno/cold-prey-dvd-review--20090220101320962-000_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border: 0px none; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="cold-prey-dvd-review--20090220101320962-000" width="329" /></a><br />
<br />
Yes, we are meant to believe that 5 able bodied extreme sports enthusiasts are unable to take this cuddly fella who looks like either an extra from the pre-CGI cantina scene in <i>Star Wars</i> or the loneliest furry at the convention<i>.</i> Maybe he just needs a friend…<br />
<br />
<i><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-Q0s2W84BM_M/TiUBUaPDG9I/AAAAAAAAA3I/QkY4w73BlPM/s1600-h/furries-kidding%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img alt="furries-kidding" border="0" height="416" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-afYoQexjgwM/TiUBUg8-anI/AAAAAAAAA3M/-KRdCxsk3Lw/furries-kidding_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border: 0px none; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="furries-kidding" width="328" /></a></i><br />
<br />
Horror movies are made or broken on two criteria for me: (1) Do I care about the people who are in danger and (2) Has my disbelief been suspended to the extent that I actually believe they are in danger?<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, <i>Cold Prey</i> failed on both fronts for me. It’s not a badly constructed low budget horror movie, I guess. It’s just nothing special.<br />
<br />
And though <i>Cold Prey</i> did nothing to instill the scareds in me, a seed of Norwegia-phobia may have been inadvertantly sparked by this guy...<br />
<br />
<div class="wlWriterEditableSmartContent" id="scid:5737277B-5D6D-4f48-ABFC-DD9C333F4C5D:4a8d30d6-8fd2-48ed-98d5-f5627cfdedf7" style="display: inline; float: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;"><div id="f49cac4e-c4bc-4aa8-992e-ed17cb279314" style="display: inline; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REKtfD5_ts4&NR=1" target="_new"><img alt="" galleryimg="no" onload="var downlevelDiv = document.getElementById('f49cac4e-c4bc-4aa8-992e-ed17cb279314'); downlevelDiv.innerHTML = "<div><object width=\"448\" height=\"252\"><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http://www.youtube.com/v/REKtfD5_ts4?hl=en&hd=1\"><\/param><embed src=\"http://www.youtube.com/v/REKtfD5_ts4?hl=en&hd=1\" type=\"application/x-shockwave-flash\" width=\"448\" height=\"252\"><\/embed><\/object><\/div>";" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-DL1Cw7y409s/TiUBU5_XpVI/AAAAAAAAA3Y/wQf4_i1n_1k/videoab6e25863937%25255B57%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="border-style: none;" /></a></div></div>Norwegian on Ecstacy is truly the fertile womb from which nightmares are born.timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-69918842164689484762011-07-07T09:49:00.000-07:002011-07-07T09:49:46.822-07:00Let's all go to the snack bar...I am a bigtime Drive-In fetishist, so this wacky little piece of disturb-ishness really buttered my popcorn this morning.... Enjoy...<br />
<br />
<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/25474499?byline=0&color=ba5e3b" width="400" height="225" frameborder="0"></iframe><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/25474499">MK12 | Follow the Sun | 2011</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/emkaytwelve">MK12</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-65067184412090159842011-06-28T10:19:00.000-07:002011-06-28T10:19:28.005-07:00How Scream Should Have Ended....<iframe width="400" height="250" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Em0lzfYHNkM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-32816961339630544502011-06-20T16:45:00.000-07:002011-06-20T16:45:17.178-07:00Review Haiku: Alice in Wonderland (2010)<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pBBnGiyhMJM/Tf_aTIisbdI/AAAAAAAAA2M/n_PS19oMdpg/s1600/alice_in_wonderland_2010_5.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pBBnGiyhMJM/Tf_aTIisbdI/AAAAAAAAA2M/n_PS19oMdpg/s320/alice_in_wonderland_2010_5.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Staring into the plot ... er ... rabbit hole.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">If the Red Queen yelled</div><div style="text-align: center;">'Off with her head!' one more time,</div><div style="text-align: center;">I'd have cut off mine.</div>timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-49932829907551293632011-06-20T13:58:00.000-07:002011-06-20T16:57:51.865-07:00Reviews: Red Riding Hood (2011)<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YlIcBSyMVsM/Tf-oj5OsU_I/AAAAAAAAA1w/3WKyOdduI1A/s1600/Red-Riding-Hood-2011.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="133" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YlIcBSyMVsM/Tf-oj5OsU_I/AAAAAAAAA1w/3WKyOdduI1A/s200/Red-Riding-Hood-2011.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What, like, big teeth you have...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>When I heard that <i>Orphan </i>scripter David Leslie Johnson wrote an update of the Red Riding Hood legend, I peed just a little bit. <br />
<br />
Sucking my pee back into my peehole was word that it would be directed by Catherine Hardwicke. Though she burst onto the scene with the awesome raw, kinetic teen-hormone horror of <i>Thirteen</i>, her version of <i>Twilight</i> was twee, phony, pablum. <i> </i><br />
<br />
What happened? I mean, <i>Thirteen </i>would totally flip off <i>Twilight</i>, then chuck an empty beer bottle at its head while sucking a whippet balloon.<br />
<br />
So I wondered to myself if Catherine would reclaim the mantle of violent, imploding teen girl angst by putting a modern, punk rock spin on a classic legend? Or would she cover up all the raw dark edges in a shitty Twi-hard sheen that lacked anything resembling a real human emotion? My answer is best described visually....<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dUqCmmmCOwc/Tf-yQfV45tI/AAAAAAAAA2I/Ac0ZvVxqGWY/s1600/heres-to-fail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="232" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dUqCmmmCOwc/Tf-yQfV45tI/AAAAAAAAA2I/Ac0ZvVxqGWY/s320/heres-to-fail.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
The original script for Red was a clever, dark take on the legend. Grounded by the idea of the "monster" as the projected unintegrated shadow side of a 14th century European community, the script combined the witch-hunting insanity of <i>The Crucible</i> with the whodunnit aspect of an Agatha Christie story. The script had its weak spots. Red was a little passive and weak for a modern protagonist. Many of the characterizations were one-dimensional. But there were just enough allusions to the town's heart of darkness, that it gave the more silly, plot-driven elements some weight.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, Hardwicke made the choice to double-down on the weak points of the script, so we are presented with 14th century Europe via the CW. By scrubbing out all the the darker elements that gave a potentially silly and dated story some gravitas, she went and delivered some <i>Twilight</i>-porn.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OcMKK4aDwMM/Tf-ouiV-M5I/AAAAAAAAA14/9F8Q6memeoY/s1600/141477_shiloh-fernandez-in-red-riding-hood-2011.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OcMKK4aDwMM/Tf-ouiV-M5I/AAAAAAAAA14/9F8Q6memeoY/s1600/141477_shiloh-fernandez-in-red-riding-hood-2011.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Redken Molding paste was big in the 1400s</td></tr>
</tbody></table>The small town looks straight out of Disneyland. No 14th century disease and suffering here. Everyone is scrubbed clean and moussed within a inch of their lives. Despite werewolf attacks, medieval torture devices, and boiling pots of mealy looking stew, you never once feel transported to anything remotely dangerous or medieval. Everything feels incredibly safe. Then there is the wolf. Dear God, the wolf. The less said about that unscary CGI abomination the better.<br />
<br />
In the script, Red's sister Lucie, was an interesting, compelling and conflicted character with incestuous, and perhaps suicidal drives. Clearly that would be too much of a bummer for the tweens, so the movie glosses over one of the most tragic moments of pathos in the script.<br />
<br />
I wished Ms. Hardwicke could have made Red more like <i>Thirteen</i>, injecting it with the same throbbing hormonally punk fuck-you energy that powered that micro-budgeted film. I think that would have been a kick in the ass.<br />
<br />
Instead, we have this over-produced piece of studio poop, that was hardly pee-worthy. Cathy, I'm sending you my dry cleaning bill!<br />
<br />
For some Red Riding <u>Good</u>, go rent <a href="http://postmortemdepression.blogspot.com/2010/06/off-topic-ode-to-vanessa-lutz.html">Freeway</a>!timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-12477649895999012952011-06-10T14:21:00.000-07:002011-06-10T14:21:49.114-07:00Devlish AdvertisingSorry I am in the lame zone posting-wise here. Buried in projects, blah, blah. Assuming you haven't abandoned me already and jumped into a more prolific blogger's arms (ahem, <a href="http://mynewplaidpants.blogspot.com/">My New Plaid Pants</a>), I offer you this little morsel of advertising goodness. <br />
<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" height="225" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/22984504?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0" width="400"></iframe><br />
<a href="http://vimeo.com/22984504">Dirt Devil-The Exorcist</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user3938418">MrPrice2U</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-28493159082378920102011-04-25T23:05:00.000-07:002011-04-25T23:05:10.952-07:00Review Haiku: Scream 4<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mP1QzouIpBI/TbZgbdMB_lI/AAAAAAAAA1s/S_38VaJhyaA/s1600/Scream-4_400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mP1QzouIpBI/TbZgbdMB_lI/AAAAAAAAA1s/S_38VaJhyaA/s320/Scream-4_400.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">Great killer reveal.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Too bad you have to sit through this </div><div style="text-align: center;">lazy sequel first.</div>timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-91309246557925894022011-03-28T09:25:00.000-07:002011-03-28T09:31:02.564-07:00Viscera Film Festival - Sunday, July 17thFor the second year in a row, Post Mortem Depression is sponsoring The <a href="http://www.viscerafilmfestival.com/">Viscera Film Festival</a>! OK, by sponsoring, I mean I sent them a little scratch. <a href="http://www.shannonlarkonline.com/">Shannon Lark</a> is the brains (mmmm <i>brains</i>) behind this wonderful event that showcases up and coming female horror filmmakers.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.viscerafilmfestival.com/"><img border="0" height="215" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mPbWf8F8DFI/TZC2RRo341I/AAAAAAAAA1M/B_y5ZMyJyaw/s320/viscera.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
The 2011 Event will take place on Sunday, July 17th at the Silent Movie Theater in Los Angeles, CA.<br />
<br />
Come check it out and tell 'em PMD sent ya....timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-56060878631056772042011-03-20T19:12:00.000-07:002011-03-21T09:46:54.579-07:00Review: Train (2008) ... or how pecs became the new boobs in horror films ...There is little point to reviewing <i>Train </i>...<br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-a2hHRZ-3AJg/TYakYs_c-HI/AAAAAAAAA00/egWxiTWjbFs/s1600/poster_train-poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-a2hHRZ-3AJg/TYakYs_c-HI/AAAAAAAAA00/egWxiTWjbFs/s320/poster_train-poster.jpg" width="247" /></a></div><i><br />
</i><br />
It was mercifully dumped to DVD to cause the least damage to the careers of those involved, including Thora Birch who took a precipitous fall after <i>American Beauty</i> and <i>Ghostworld</i>. Like her A.B. co-star Mena Suvari, she is a talented actress who has been relegated to making dreck and I personally get no satisfaction whatsoever in pissing on the grave of this film.<br />
<br />
So I was just going to skip doing this post, but there was something remarkable about <i>Train </i>that merited a post. Something that spoke to a trend in modern horror films that I haven't seen too much written about.<br />
<br />
<b>Pecs have become the new boobs in horror films.</b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-ZJ6ghuESacQ/TYa0QnPYoxI/AAAAAAAAA1A/GWlLtWsUkbU/s1600/spm1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"></span></a><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-IWRjLLhLDTc/TYa0TP4jxZI/AAAAAAAAA1E/0XiFcvUr3Mw/s1600/jc2_20-427.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-IWRjLLhLDTc/TYa0TP4jxZI/AAAAAAAAA1E/0XiFcvUr3Mw/s320/jc2_20-427.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Yes, it seems that the exploitation of women's bodies in horror films (so prevalent in the 70s and 80s that it galvanized the Feminist movement to oppose the entire genre) has given way to the unabashed exploitation of <i>male flesh</i>. <i>Train </i>is but one example of this trend, but it is definitely one of the more overt.<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">We start by meeting a team of American wrestlers (male and female) travelling in Eastern Europe. We linger on the male leads (<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;">Kavan Reece and Derek Magyar)</span> in their singlets...</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-HvEY9S-dMVo/TYaWLiuOLBI/AAAAAAAAAz0/PXxlmNTRW38/s1600/Wrestlers+2.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-HvEY9S-dMVo/TYaWLiuOLBI/AAAAAAAAAz0/PXxlmNTRW38/s320/Wrestlers+2.PNG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-10D9KZRPFv0/TYaWOk0zsjI/AAAAAAAAAz4/6K9D3-dBM2E/s1600/Wrestlers.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-10D9KZRPFv0/TYaWOk0zsjI/AAAAAAAAAz4/6K9D3-dBM2E/s320/Wrestlers.PNG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Then it's time for a bath. While Thora Birch remains tastefully submerged, we get some nippleage from <span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;">Derek Magya</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 23px;">r</span>.</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-xM_QHGELB08/TYaWFUvEDbI/AAAAAAAAAzw/4OoiZZ0PAAE/s1600/Tub.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-xM_QHGELB08/TYaWFUvEDbI/AAAAAAAAAzw/4OoiZZ0PAAE/s320/Tub.PNG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Later, during a game of Truth or Dare, none of the women are disrobed, but the gay assistant coach (Gideon Emery) bares his ripped bod and tattoo...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-oJnZmGR_xtI/TYaV7addYmI/AAAAAAAAAzk/m_MzLzTfZVc/s1600/asst+gay+coach+bod.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-oJnZmGR_xtI/TYaV7addYmI/AAAAAAAAAzk/m_MzLzTfZVc/s320/asst+gay+coach+bod.PNG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
... and then dares Derek to strip to his jock and run the length of the train. Which he does with aplomb...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-Nhez6XQYJYM/TYaV_Xwe6DI/AAAAAAAAAzo/5KPNZTNSSTo/s1600/jock+run.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-Nhez6XQYJYM/TYaV_Xwe6DI/AAAAAAAAAzo/5KPNZTNSSTo/s320/jock+run.PNG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-QvyVjG-JCGE/TYaYbFSzFpI/AAAAAAAAAz8/hLpqqIpDb8s/s1600/jock+run+2.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-QvyVjG-JCGE/TYaYbFSzFpI/AAAAAAAAAz8/hLpqqIpDb8s/s320/jock+run+2.PNG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
But I didn't count <i>one boob</i>. We had pecs galore, along with a side serving of bum, but no boobs. In the 70s and 80s, it was nothing but boobs. At least one actress had to bare her breasts, before being killed in some undignified manner quickly thereafter. It was just how it was. But now, boobs have become an endangered species in horror movies.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-ktW0f3_FWQ8/TYa2DYnilqI/AAAAAAAAA1I/nVMgW691aFY/s1600/spm1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-ktW0f3_FWQ8/TYa2DYnilqI/AAAAAAAAA1I/nVMgW691aFY/s320/spm1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">We're not gonna take this lying down, girls!</span></div><br />
I almost feel bad for boobs. With the exception of the <i>Friday the 13th</i> remake and the <i>My Bloody Valentine</i> remake, boob sightings in modern horror films are as rare as believable character arcs. (And, no, I'm not just repeating the word boobs to get extra hits on my website. OK, I totally am ... Boobs).<br />
<br />
Simply put, in the 00s, the leering gaze of the horror film camera started shifting from the female to the male torso. Is this just a sign that the <a href="http://labusinessjournal.com/news/2007/apr/23/misses-macabre/?print">horror audience has shifted from being primarily male to primarily female</a>?<br />
<br />
Perhaps. But my theory is that Mary Harron started the trend in 2000 when she translated the oft-accused-of-being-misogynist Bret Easton Ellis novel <i>American Psycho</i> into a classic horror/dark comedy...<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><b>Christian Bale</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">American Psycho (2000)</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-uT-a4iwvVxQ/TYagjBek1CI/AAAAAAAAA0Q/uiLf6lmN5G8/s1600/am+psycho.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-uT-a4iwvVxQ/TYagjBek1CI/AAAAAAAAA0Q/uiLf6lmN5G8/s1600/am+psycho.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-ytqzxslMEfk/TYagjrcfhLI/AAAAAAAAA0U/6VeBRDY8YPQ/s1600/american_psycho_2000_760x505_429153.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-ytqzxslMEfk/TYagjrcfhLI/AAAAAAAAA0U/6VeBRDY8YPQ/s320/american_psycho_2000_760x505_429153.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-UayitFlkp3E/TYagjo7UvoI/AAAAAAAAA0Y/RKKpe6RK468/s1600/american-psycho-patrick-bateman-patriarchy-fucks-itself.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-UayitFlkp3E/TYagjo7UvoI/AAAAAAAAA0Y/RKKpe6RK468/s320/american-psycho-patrick-bateman-patriarchy-fucks-itself.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-Xv9Wib5-LQE/TYagkMwn1-I/AAAAAAAAA0c/RZzXcz1cLOc/s1600/christian_bale_in_american_psycho.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-Xv9Wib5-LQE/TYagkMwn1-I/AAAAAAAAA0c/RZzXcz1cLOc/s320/christian_bale_in_american_psycho.jpg" width="222" /></a></div><br />
Bale's Patrick Bateman may torture, exploit and abuse women, but Harron's camera never exploits his victims, it only exploits <i>him</i>. We empathize with them, while Bateman comes off as the giant soulless hefty bag of douche that he is.<br />
<br />
I'm sure her point was to expose the grotesque body consciousness of the superficial 80s, but Harron inadvertently kicked off a trend in pec-gazing that would last another decade and, thankfully, shows no sign of stopping.<br />
<br />
I submit as evidence....<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><b>Justin Long</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Jeepers Creepers (2001)</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-ir8CkZD7fes/TYaU8_lkPLI/AAAAAAAAAzM/yi8Zk__FAFI/s1600/jeppers+creepers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-ir8CkZD7fes/TYaU8_lkPLI/AAAAAAAAAzM/yi8Zk__FAFI/s320/jeppers+creepers.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><b>Al Santos and a Busload of Hotties</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003)</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-tnJ0ost2I_c/TYaVNbTSeCI/AAAAAAAAAzQ/d1ZWqP3-EIU/s1600/jc2+-+beautiful+boy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="215" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-tnJ0ost2I_c/TYaVNbTSeCI/AAAAAAAAAzQ/d1ZWqP3-EIU/s320/jc2+-+beautiful+boy.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-HeQAV3Pxuns/TYaVNs89ZZI/AAAAAAAAAzU/vtymLSoe7Sc/s1600/jc2_20-427.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-HeQAV3Pxuns/TYaVNs89ZZI/AAAAAAAAAzU/vtymLSoe7Sc/s320/jc2_20-427.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-wwe84hx6dOc/TYaVN37l_oI/AAAAAAAAAzY/PAPEMT02XsE/s1600/jeepers_creepers4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="152" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-wwe84hx6dOc/TYaVN37l_oI/AAAAAAAAAzY/PAPEMT02XsE/s320/jeepers_creepers4.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-YDeQrto7Q8M/TYaVOMFRo1I/AAAAAAAAAzc/eW4n8a9ilBI/s1600/jeepers_creepers7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="152" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-YDeQrto7Q8M/TYaVOMFRo1I/AAAAAAAAAzc/eW4n8a9ilBI/s320/jeepers_creepers7.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-ugXwm2LpsEM/TYaVOUKYqUI/AAAAAAAAAzg/pGXn6su_oEY/s1600/jeepers_creepers12+-+boys+on+the+bus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="152" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-ugXwm2LpsEM/TYaVOUKYqUI/AAAAAAAAAzg/pGXn6su_oEY/s320/jeepers_creepers12+-+boys+on+the+bus.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><b>Ryan Reynolds</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Blade: Trinity (2004) and Amityville Horror (2005)</span></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-kzyPxvVmx6E/TYaiW8hwlUI/AAAAAAAAA0k/7Bz2ERw0j8s/s1600/amityvile+-+rr.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-kzyPxvVmx6E/TYaiW8hwlUI/AAAAAAAAA0k/7Bz2ERw0j8s/s1600/amityvile+-+rr.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-RgOwqqwYOO4/TYaiYwfpqfI/AAAAAAAAA0o/C6VXXYIEHaw/s1600/blade+trinity+-+ryan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-RgOwqqwYOO4/TYaiYwfpqfI/AAAAAAAAA0o/C6VXXYIEHaw/s320/blade+trinity+-+ryan.jpg" width="209" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-PHPQXvaTsKQ/TYaiZifP2hI/AAAAAAAAA0s/gR7UgtiXduY/s1600/The+Amityville+Horror+-+Ryan+Reynolds.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-PHPQXvaTsKQ/TYaiZifP2hI/AAAAAAAAA0s/gR7UgtiXduY/s320/The+Amityville+Horror+-+Ryan+Reynolds.jpg" width="269" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><b>Chad Michael Murray</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">House of Wax (2005)</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-CK9TspnhlTg/TYag2onj2II/AAAAAAAAA0g/8Z28tGNbA3s/s1600/house+of+wax+chad-michael-murray-shirtless.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-CK9TspnhlTg/TYag2onj2II/AAAAAAAAA0g/8Z28tGNbA3s/s320/house+of+wax+chad-michael-murray-shirtless.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><b>Matt Bomer and Taylor Handley</b></div><div style="margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)</span></div><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-gzZZqLuvy5M/TYaRHqiqm_I/AAAAAAAAAzA/_eXm2pcTQ7Y/s1600/boys+in+peric+-+tcm+beg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-gzZZqLuvy5M/TYaRHqiqm_I/AAAAAAAAAzA/_eXm2pcTQ7Y/s320/boys+in+peric+-+tcm+beg.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-q068JLwax64/TYaRHx8stZI/AAAAAAAAAzE/GwpApYvnCVc/s1600/MatthewBomer+in+Pool+-+TCM+Beg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-q068JLwax64/TYaRHx8stZI/AAAAAAAAAzE/GwpApYvnCVc/s1600/MatthewBomer+in+Pool+-+TCM+Beg.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-OkvSMVNk2-Y/TYaRIAUIXKI/AAAAAAAAAzI/EE21OyGtP50/s1600/TaylorHandley19+-+tcm+beg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-OkvSMVNk2-Y/TYaRIAUIXKI/AAAAAAAAAzI/EE21OyGtP50/s1600/TaylorHandley19+-+tcm+beg.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-EuzjSz2HJJk/TYaRHR5vOWI/AAAAAAAAAy8/EKQTR_OmVCw/s1600/boys+in+chains+-+tcm+beg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-EuzjSz2HJJk/TYaRHR5vOWI/AAAAAAAAAy8/EKQTR_OmVCw/s320/boys+in+chains+-+tcm+beg.jpg" width="212" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b>Al Santos (again)</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Killer Movie (2008)</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-szeFXtCgsQM/TYaaL4HkQtI/AAAAAAAAA0A/d7jV9VUPSpw/s1600/killer+movie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-szeFXtCgsQM/TYaaL4HkQtI/AAAAAAAAA0A/d7jV9VUPSpw/s320/killer+movie.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b>Bobby Campo and Nick Zano</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">The Final Destination (2009)</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-OxCkVFCuuco/TYaffbU8NeI/AAAAAAAAA0E/EEbU5hJ9cxk/s1600/the+final+d+-+nick_zano2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="131" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-OxCkVFCuuco/TYaffbU8NeI/AAAAAAAAA0E/EEbU5hJ9cxk/s320/the+final+d+-+nick_zano2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-pVpBstpIfZE/TYaffrdE9YI/AAAAAAAAA0I/Aeq1Qp2GF_Q/s1600/the+final+d+-+nick_zano16.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="131" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-pVpBstpIfZE/TYaffrdE9YI/AAAAAAAAA0I/Aeq1Qp2GF_Q/s320/the+final+d+-+nick_zano16.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-xuAD_eE3FJI/TYaffw7ReMI/AAAAAAAAA0M/C5JnyRkx1JM/s1600/the+final+d+bobby_campo6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="131" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-xuAD_eE3FJI/TYaffw7ReMI/AAAAAAAAA0M/C5JnyRkx1JM/s320/the+final+d+bobby_campo6.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b>Penn Badgely</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">The Stepfather (2009)</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-BcQmH-BelKs/TYaioRYv00I/AAAAAAAAA0w/R60w2bKLIOQ/s1600/stepfather+-+penn+badgely.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-BcQmH-BelKs/TYaioRYv00I/AAAAAAAAA0w/R60w2bKLIOQ/s320/stepfather+-+penn+badgely.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Is this a trend that anyone else has noticed? Any alternative theories on why? </div>timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-61354059267108181812011-03-15T12:34:00.000-07:002011-03-15T12:34:04.883-07:00Gone Fishin'I haven't posted for a while. Dana from Poltergeist is so upset that she just looked at me and said...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-66PulA9BoAc/TX-9pZ_RDcI/AAAAAAAAAy0/XdwVJuj4hyE/s1600/whats+happening+poltergeist.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-66PulA9BoAc/TX-9pZ_RDcI/AAAAAAAAAy0/XdwVJuj4hyE/s320/whats+happening+poltergeist.jpg" width="313" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>WHAT'S HAPPENING?!?!?!</b></div><br />
It's not that I don't have stuff to say. I have two perfectly great posts that are living in my brain and trying hard to grab hold of my fingers and my gelatinous attention span so I will post them.<br />
<br />
But Mama's got some stuff cookin' in the kitchen and it needs my full attention so it don't burn.<br />
<br />
So for those jonesin' for another edition of PMD, I pray patience. Posts are coming. They will be good. One will involve lots of shirtless menses. I'll make it worth the wait. <br />
<br />
In the meantime, here is an adorable little mouse that will do my begging for me. How can you say no to him?<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/--6m4wWfTpA8/TX--4dT12XI/AAAAAAAAAy4/PWIxuq_n7dg/s1600/cute+annimal+begging.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/--6m4wWfTpA8/TX--4dT12XI/AAAAAAAAAy4/PWIxuq_n7dg/s320/cute+annimal+begging.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Just stay ... baby... stay!</b></div>timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-36525266344648457072011-02-24T21:28:00.000-08:002011-02-24T21:37:44.346-08:00Off Topic: I Love The DistillersApropos of nothing, I want to post a bunch of Distillers videos. When are Brody and the gang coming out with a new album? I want. I need. I beg.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/34kjPyNF6Ak" title="YouTube video player" width="560"></iframe><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/W0jHnWbbFjI" title="YouTube video player" width="425"></iframe><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/P6iKqOMPZTw" title="YouTube video player" width="425"></iframe><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/aYmUtpy4evU" title="YouTube video player" width="425"></iframe>timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-6096995516513363282011-02-20T11:34:00.000-08:002011-02-20T11:34:07.310-08:00"Dead Island" TrailerIt's not every day that a video game trailer evokes any kind of emotion, but this one got to me...<br />
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<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="560" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ialZcLaI17Y" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-88551722085886168372011-02-11T18:48:00.000-08:002011-02-11T18:48:24.143-08:00Spatter Analysis #4<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YWLAmPG2STg/TVX0ohb0UPI/AAAAAAAAAyk/EoLJplHYcpw/s1600/SpatterAnalysis4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YWLAmPG2STg/TVX0ohb0UPI/AAAAAAAAAyk/EoLJplHYcpw/s320/SpatterAnalysis4.jpg" width="249" /></a></div>Well, looky here. <a href="http://midnitemedia.blogspot.com/">Jonny Metro over at Midnight Media</a> included a lil' ol' <a href="http://postmortemdepression.blogspot.com/2011/01/psycho-babble-phantasm-1979.html">blog posting I did about Phantasm</a> back in the day (and .... by back in the day, I mean about a month ago) for his online horror magazine <i>Splatter Analysis</i>.<br />
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Go and <a href="http://midnitemedia.blogspot.com/">check it out</a> along with all the other fine selections he has assembled for your reading pleasure.timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-28841259125037624982011-02-10T09:05:00.000-08:002011-02-10T09:05:09.013-08:00Why so Suspirious?Darren Aronofsky gave me the biggest horror nerd hardon this morning when he released this new spot for Black Swan. In a mash up that had me touching the tips of my nips just a tad, clips from the film are backed up by the freaky, haunting theme from 70's Italian horror classic <i>Suspiria</i>...<br />
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Smoking a ciggy now and blowing smoke rings at the ceiling ...timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-17068323063280956462011-02-01T10:09:00.000-08:002011-02-01T15:28:27.809-08:00Seven Deadly Sins of Horror Movies<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">(This is a copy of a <a href="http://scriptanatomy.com/?p=1455">guest blog</a> that I did for Tawnya Bhattacharya's awesome screenwriting blog: <a href="http://www.scriptanatomy.com/">Script Anatomy</a>.)<br />
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<div>I love horror movies. I love watching them. I love writing them. But after watching hundreds of hours of possessions, tortures, slashings, hauntings, alien abductions and hostile zombie takeovers ... well ... I've got one nagging question ... </div><br />
<div><span class="Apple-style-span"><b>Why do so many horror movies suck so badly?!</b></span></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUd_z7B4LmI/AAAAAAAAAyI/WdOpev3Ufis/s1600/frustratedGuy-600px.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUd_z7B4LmI/AAAAAAAAAyI/WdOpev3Ufis/s320/frustratedGuy-600px.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div>So I developed a list of the seven deadly sins of horror movies -- common storytelling gaffes that time and time again turn potentially frightening, interesting ideas into huge piles of suck. For each sin, I have plucked a film (or scene) from the horror cannon as an example of the saints and sinners of the genre.</div><br />
<div>So grab your holy water and rosaries as we get started with ...</div><br />
<div style="color: #990000; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>SIN #1: Your characters are morons.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><b></b></span></div><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">I know that a lot of your characters are going to end up on the business end of power tools. All of these chumps can't be MENSA members. But please, for the love of all things unholy, try to have them react with some semblance of conscious thought. </div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUe1GNXToTI/AAAAAAAAAyQ/ntEYQehHqp4/s1600/YourAnIdiot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUe1GNXToTI/AAAAAAAAAyQ/ntEYQehHqp4/s320/YourAnIdiot.jpg" width="306" /></a></div><br />
<div>Remember, when characters on screen react like <i>we</i> would, then we identify with them and their plight. Instead of pointing at the screen and yelling "idiot!", we will be quietly thinking: "Hey, that could ... be ... me."</div><br />
<div><i><b>Sinner - Dead Silence (2007):</b></i></div><br />
<div><span class="Apple-style-span">Quiz time: Let's say someone sends you a ventriloquist dummy in the mail and then said dummy kills your spouse in a violent and heinous manner. What is the one object you will NOT take with you when you return to your home town for her funeral?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span">OK, pencils down. If you said the homicidal evil ventriloquist dummy that killed your </span><span class="Apple-style-span">spouse in a violent and heinous manner</span><span class="Apple-style-span">, then consider yourself smarter than this dipshit …</span></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUZHM19h0ZI/AAAAAAAAAxU/BN4QpXr8a4c/s1600/dead_silence.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUZHM19h0ZI/AAAAAAAAAxU/BN4QpXr8a4c/s1600/dead_silence.jpg" /></a></span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span">… who spends most of the movie carting the killer doll all over creation as he tries to figure out how to get the dummy to stop killing everyone around him. </span></div><br />
<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Here's a thought Skippy: Throw it in the fire. Wood burns.</span></div><br />
<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><b>Saint - Prom Night (1980) [Scene - Wendy's death]:</b></i></span></div><br />
<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Wendy finds herself in the unfortunate situation of being a mouthy, bossy, slutty pot-smoking babe in a slasher movie made in 1980 starring Jamie Lee Curtis. </span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUe4Um1yt9I/AAAAAAAAAyU/vm8QHWEGZTM/s1600/wendy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="162" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUe4Um1yt9I/AAAAAAAAAyU/vm8QHWEGZTM/s320/wendy.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span">Alas, she was created to die.</span></div><br />
<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span">However, Wendy does something quite unheard of for a female character not played by Jamie Lee Curtis in an 80s slasher film. She runs and fights like ... well ... any living <a href="http://postmortemdepression.blogspot.com/2010/03/im-not-being-defensive-on.html">mammal with a hypothalamus</a> that was confronted by an ax-wielding glitter-ski-masked maniac. She isn't the final girl, but she doesn't act as if she already knows that. She's smart, resourceful, and puts up one hell of a fight. You're sad to see her go.</span></div><br />
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<div style="color: #990000; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>SIN #2: Your plot makes no sense.</b> </span></div><br />
<div>Sure lots of horror classics stretch believability to its limits. <span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span">In <i>Suspiria</i></span></span>, why doesn't Suzy just leave the dance school and alert the police instead of taking on an entire coven by herself? <span class="Apple-style-span">In <i>The Ring</i></span>, how did Tamara make that killer videotape being ... you know ... dead and in the bottom of a well?<br />
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But somehow those classics invented a nightmare reality that allowed audiences to overlook these flaws and suspend their disbelief as they lured us along toward their unnerving conclusions. Things have to make sense in your world, not necessarily any real world that exists. It's when you violate your own rules of logic that you start to sink into the suck.</div><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span"><i><b>Sinner - High Tension (2003) [Scene - The Ending]:</b></i></span></div><br />
<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span">I felt cheated by the ending of this otherwise superb French chiller. The final twist could have been set up in a clever way that repeated viewings would reinforce, but (SPOILER ALERT) you just can't have a car chase with yourself. Not even if you are an otherwise kick-ass French lesbian. You just can't!</span></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUZM1lMOLhI/AAAAAAAAAxY/bAogi1Phf5Y/s1600/hightension1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUZM1lMOLhI/AAAAAAAAAxY/bAogi1Phf5Y/s320/hightension1.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><b>Saint - Sixth Sense (1999):</b></i></span></div><div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span">This movie does so many things right on so many levels that when the final major plot twist hits, it's a big “AHA” … not a "WTF?!" All of the setups pay off in a very satisfying way.</span></div></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUZNNZp9esI/AAAAAAAAAxc/m2vccpt9GzE/s1600/6th-sense-movie-02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUZNNZp9esI/AAAAAAAAAxc/m2vccpt9GzE/s320/6th-sense-movie-02.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><div><br />
</div><div style="color: #990000; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>SIN #3: Your monsters aren't linked to the hero(ine)'s inner-demons.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><b><br />
</b></span></div></div></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">The villain should always be the embodiment of the main character's psychological demons. They are their worst fears made flesh. When the battle on the outside lines up with the battle on the inside, you will have your audience hook, line, and sinker.</div></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span">Sinner - </span><span class="Apple-style-span">Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003):</span></b></i></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Quiz Time Again: Who is Erin? Sure, she's the final girl of this misguided remake, but what makes her tick? What is her worst fear and/or childhood trauma? How will her battle against the homicidal Hewitt family make her revisit and conquer her core weakness? </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span">Pencils Down. Drawing a blank? Apparently so did the screenwriter. But I guess they figured if Erin looks like Jessica Biel ...</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span><br />
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</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUZN_GVbhNI/AAAAAAAAAxg/F3NxNV9rWbY/s1600/chainsaw-jessica.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUZN_GVbhNI/AAAAAAAAAxg/F3NxNV9rWbY/s320/chainsaw-jessica.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span">... nobody will really notice or care.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><b>Saint - Silence of the Lambs (1990):</b></i></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Hannibal Lecter is a shadowy father figure who forces Clarice Starling to confront the psychological damage caused by her actual father's death. Lecter may be the devil made flesh, but he is also a dark guide to the trouble spots of Clarice's own psyche.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUZQ7DgM1qI/AAAAAAAAAxk/_H4AtLAT9kM/s1600/silence_of_the_lambs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUZQ7DgM1qI/AAAAAAAAAxk/_H4AtLAT9kM/s320/silence_of_the_lambs.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span style="font-weight: normal;"> </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span style="font-weight: normal;">And Clarice has another monster in her life. Serial killer Buffalo Bill skins women to make a dress to become a woman. He is a dark inverted representation of her own struggle with her gender identity as a woman in the largely male and chauvinistic world of the CIA. Bill may want to put on a woman suit, but Clarice struggles daily with the need to put on her man pants when dealing with her macho peers and the bad guys.</span></span><br />
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<div style="color: #990000; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>SIN #4: You've emphasized kills over suspense.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><br />
</b></div></div><div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">Sure, when you go home from a horror<i> </i>film, it's the inventive kills that you remember. But those scenes only work if the filmmaker builds up to those kills with chills and suspense. Horror movies are like sex … you don't win points by rushing to the climax.</div><div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><b>Sinner - Friday the 13th Part 5 (1985):</b></i></span></div><div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span">This could probably apply to any part greater than 2, but nowhere is it more egregious than in Part 5. Watching this one is like watching cows being herded into a kill chute. You know these dumb animals are going to get it, so it simply becomes a tedious waiting game. Mooooo.</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUZSxLTRacI/AAAAAAAAAxo/-Kuhw9hEX5M/s1600/Fri5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUZSxLTRacI/AAAAAAAAAxo/-Kuhw9hEX5M/s1600/Fri5.jpg" /></a></span></div><div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
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</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><b>Saint - Exorcist III (1990) [Scene - Nurse Station Scene]:</b></i></span></div><div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span">This is by no means a great movie, but director/screenwriter William Peter Blatty creates one absolutely pitch perfect scene of suspense and payoff. Study it and learn, if you dare:</span><br />
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</div><div><div style="color: #990000; font-weight: normal; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b> SIN #5: Your main character is a douchebag.</b></span></div><div style="font-weight: normal; text-align: center;"><b><br />
</b></div></div><b> </b><br />
I don't care how many Freddy Krueger lunchboxes you had as a kid, if you watch a horror movie and you are rooting for the <span class="Apple-style-span">homicidal maniac</span> to succeed, either the writer has failed or your anti-psych meds have. Make your main character somewhat relatable, three-dimensional and likable and the audience is likely to feel every ounce of their terror and cheer them on when they battle the bad guy.<br />
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><i><b>Sinner - Severance (2007):</b></i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I like director Christoper Smith a lot and consider his film <i>Triangle </i>to be a work of genius. But in <i>Severance</i>, once the killing is underway and our "heroes" emerge, we are left with a dilemma. Are we supposed to be rooting for the drugged-out sex addict or the ruthless selfish businesswoman who left her colleague to die? </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUZWCkHCrEI/AAAAAAAAAxs/jzwthEwfPQc/s1600/dd_severance2502.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUZWCkHCrEI/AAAAAAAAAxs/jzwthEwfPQc/s320/dd_severance2502.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><i><b>Saint - Halloween (1978):</b></i></div><div style="font-weight: normal;">Oh my dearest Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis). So good. So innocent. And, therefore, so destined to be plunged into the darkest depths of slasher movie hell.<br />
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</div></div></span></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-weight: bold; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUZWqFh-ftI/AAAAAAAAAxw/RWGBOh0IV68/s1600/jamie+lee+halloween.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUZWqFh-ftI/AAAAAAAAAxw/RWGBOh0IV68/s320/jamie+lee+halloween.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span">John Carpenter and Debra Hill's script spends almost one third of the movie setting up Laurie and her world. We know that she is shy, has a crush on Ben Tramer, and has two friends, Linda and Annie, who are more sexually experienced and adventurous. By taking the time to properly set up Laurie as a flesh and blood teenager with fears and hopes, the audience is invested in her survival when the mortal battle begins. </span><br />
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</span></div></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><div style="color: #990000; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>SIN #6: ALL of your characters are douchebags.</b></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><br />
</b></div></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">I separated this one out as a separate sin because there are some movies who go above and beyond the call of duty in making us hate all of the potential victim characters. Not just the protagonists. ALL OF THEM.<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><b>Sinner - Friday the 13th (2009):</b></i></span></div><div style="display: inline ! important; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span">This "re-imagining" really commits all of the seven sins, but #6 is its most unforgivable. Lets review our potential heroes, shall we?</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><b><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUZYo03qTiI/AAAAAAAAAx0/IwujNTF9Wyw/s1600/friday_the13th10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUZYo03qTiI/AAAAAAAAAx0/IwujNTF9Wyw/s320/friday_the13th10.jpg" width="320" /></a></b></span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span">How about slutty blond chick? How about slutty blond dude? Stoned one-note Asian guy? </span><span class="Apple-style-span">Wisecracking masturbating black guy</span><span class="Apple-style-span">? How about the other four who leave their dying friend outside with the killer because ... hey ... better the </span><span class="Apple-style-span">wisecracking masturbating black guy then them ... right? (And seconds after making that dubious decision, they </span><span class="Apple-style-span">split up - see Sin #1). DIE ALREADY!</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><b>Saint - Wolf Creek (2005):</b></i></span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Wolf Creek has a flawed, but relatable young threesome. They are young, fun 20-nothing Aussies who just want to party at the coast, then travel across the outback, getting in a little adventure before their lives becomes calcified by the obligation and routine of adulthood.</span><span class="Apple-style-span"> If you weren't these kids when you were their age, you wanted to be.</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUecZ4bXaDI/AAAAAAAAAyM/0jFfKeZHwoc/s1600/wolf2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUecZ4bXaDI/AAAAAAAAAyM/0jFfKeZHwoc/s320/wolf2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Not surprisingly, there is a love triangle. But, because these girls are not one-dimensional catty soap-opera stereotypes, they don't become enemies. They remain friends. They love each other and work it out like likable people do. By spending almost the first half of the movie setting up this affable trio, director Greg McLean lulls you into thinking you might not be watching a horror movie after all. Then he reminds you ... in the most sinister way possible.</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><br />
<div style="color: #990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large; font-weight: bold;"><b>SIN #7: We see too much of the killer too soon.</b></span></div></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
</span></div><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;">I know you spent a lot of time creating the best killer ever. He's funnier than Freddy. Stronger than Jason.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> More viscous than Michael Myers. He skins his victims, then rolls them in push pins, while wearing a haz-mat suit and speaking in Aramaic. He even leaves clever riddles at the murder scene. </span><br />
<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Great! Now get his, her, or its ugly mug out of Act 1 and most of Act 2. The thing you can't see in the dark is always scarier than some CGI mutant or rubber suited Alien. Darkness is your friend in horror. It's also a cheap special effect, so use it.</div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
</span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><b>Sinner - Descent Part 2 (2010):</b></i></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span><br />
<div style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span">The caves in Part 2 are so well lit it looks like a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sid_and_Marty_Krofft">Sid and Marty Krofft</a> production. The crawlers are not only highly visible and, therefore, not at all scary, but they look like the sleestaks from <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Land_of_the_Lost_%281974_TV_series%29">Land of the Lost</a>. You are left wondering when Will, Holly and Cha-Ka are going to appear.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
</span></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUZbwjxtx5I/AAAAAAAAAyA/N6_ycFaeJuk/s1600/the-descent-part-2-20100428031822558_640w.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUZbwjxtx5I/AAAAAAAAAyA/N6_ycFaeJuk/s320/the-descent-part-2-20100428031822558_640w.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
</span><br />
<div><span class="Apple-style-span"><i><b>Saint - Alien (1979):</b></i></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span style="font-weight: normal;">In the original, the Alien is never revealed until the very last scene. Up until then, it exists only in the shadows with flashes of</span><b> </b><span style="font-weight: normal;">a drooling jaw, or an unfurling tail.</span></span></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUZbwdUw_kI/AAAAAAAAAx8/2-7UT-KXHyI/s1600/alien+hds.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUZbwdUw_kI/AAAAAAAAAx8/2-7UT-KXHyI/s1600/alien+hds.gif" /></a></div><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span">James Cameron knew better than to try to play this trick twice, so he wisely switched genres from horror to action and brought us hundreds more <i>Aliens</i> in the sequel.<br />
</span><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span">--------------------------------</span></div><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span">So do you have to avoid all of the seven sins to create a spec horror script that will set Hollywood on fire and become the next <i>Saw</i> or <i>Final Destination</i>?</span><span class="Apple-style-span"> Obviously not. A</span><span class="Apple-style-span">ll of the sinners above were produced screenplays. </span><span class="Apple-style-span">Not only that, some of them made lots of money.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span">But if you want to create a horror film that has some staying power. Like <i>The Exorcist</i>, <i>Halloween</i>, <i>Psycho</i>, or <i>Microwave Massacre</i> (just seeing if you were paying attention), then heed the seven sins. Repent if you must (and by that I mean re-write). </span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span"></span>There are enough bad horror movies in the world.<br />
<br />
And I end up watching most of them.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"> <span class="Apple-style-span">--------------------------------</span></div></div><br />
<a href="http://www.scriptanatomy.com/">SCRIPT ANATOMY</a> was founded by story consultant and screenwriting instructor, TAWNYA BHATTACHARYA. Tawnya has completed writing assignments, and has several optioned screenplays with independent producers and her original TV pilot, GRAND COULEE was optioned by FOX. Tawnya is a fellow with FOX's 2009 Writers Initiative and recently finished participating in NBC's WRITERS ON THE VERGE with writing partner, Ali Laventhol. Their NURSE JACKIE spec was one of eight selected out of over 1200 submissions that got them into NBC's 12-week workshop focused on polishing writers and readying them for a staff writer position on a television series. Visit Script Anatomy's website @ <a href="http://www.scriptanatomy.com/">www.scriptanatomy.com</a><br />
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</div>timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-64189369686339849532011-01-29T12:42:00.000-08:002011-01-29T12:44:05.064-08:00Review Haiku: Enter the Void (2009), Severance (2006), Dead Silence (2007)<div style="text-align: center;"><b>Enter The Void:</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUR7LPuiz1I/AAAAAAAAAxI/3LLykcM3sbY/s1600/enter-the-void_320.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUR7LPuiz1I/AAAAAAAAAxI/3LLykcM3sbY/s1600/enter-the-void_320.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Trainspotting, but French. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Just slow it down by one-third </div><div style="text-align: center;">and add heaps of sex. </div><div style="text-align: center;">(PS - I loved this movie)</div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><b>Severance:</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUR7LgUTadI/AAAAAAAAAxM/oSNvsDM6hdk/s1600/severence_l.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUR7LgUTadI/AAAAAAAAAxM/oSNvsDM6hdk/s1600/severence_l.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Uneven farce from</div><div style="text-align: center;">Director Chris Smith. Go watch</div><div style="text-align: center;">Triangle instead.</div><br />
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><b>Dead Silence:</b></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUR7KoHM1tI/AAAAAAAAAxE/YUDDcGyO8lk/s1600/dead+silence.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUR7KoHM1tI/AAAAAAAAAxE/YUDDcGyO8lk/s320/dead+silence.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">The creepy dummies</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">Illicit a few scares, but</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">Looks cheap and dumb script.</div>timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-70167470159995257582011-01-27T12:06:00.000-08:002011-01-27T12:06:29.481-08:00BugcrushI will say nothing about the 2006 short film <i>Bugcrush</i> other than to say it is the only gay themed horror movie that I've seen that ... well ...<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUHNBM_AyuI/AAAAAAAAAws/skn7HZXWPxI/s1600/bugcrush2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="178" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUHNBM_AyuI/AAAAAAAAAws/skn7HZXWPxI/s320/bugcrush2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>... succeeds. Not only succeeds, but brilliantly so. The main character is an innocent, naive, but bold gay teen Ben ...<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUHP-xsb8eI/AAAAAAAAAw8/abGiSYnpcXE/s1600/BugCrush01_s_%257BC1C89A34-A4EB-4952-A8AE-77A2E0B45988%257D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="205" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUHP-xsb8eI/AAAAAAAAAw8/abGiSYnpcXE/s320/BugCrush01_s_%257BC1C89A34-A4EB-4952-A8AE-77A2E0B45988%257D.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>... whose inner demon becomes flesh in the form of, well, this guy ...<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUHPfbDpd1I/AAAAAAAAAw0/VSU4sTR9bEk/s1600/Bug-Crush.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_8cpwjMLzSts/TUHPfbDpd1I/AAAAAAAAAw0/VSU4sTR9bEk/s320/Bug-Crush.gif" width="320" /></a></div>No more words will come from my lips. It's only 34 minutes long and it's right .... here ...<br />
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Part 1:<br />
<object height="384" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/x9fzez?additionalInfos=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/x9fzez?additionalInfos=0" width="480" height="384" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always"></embed></object><br />
<b><a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9fzez_bugcrush-part-1_shortfilms">Bugcrush. Part 1</a></b><br />
<i>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/ovejaelectronica">ovejaelectronica</a>. - <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/us/channel/shortfilms" target="_self">Full seasons and entire episodes online.</a></i><br />
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Part 2:<br />
<object height="384" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/x9g9ax?additionalInfos=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/x9g9ax?additionalInfos=0" width="480" height="384" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always"></embed></object><br />
<b><a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9g9ax_bugcrush-part-2_shortfilms">Bugcrush. Part 2</a></b><br />
<i>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/ovejaelectronica">ovejaelectronica</a>. - <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/us/channel/shortfilms" target="_self">Check out other Film & TV videos.</a></i><br />
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Part 3:<br />
<object height="384" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/x9ganr?additionalInfos=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/x9ganr?additionalInfos=0" width="480" height="384" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always"></embed></object><br />
<b><a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9ganr_bugcrush-part-3_shortfilms">Bugcrush. Part 3</a></b><br />
<i>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/ovejaelectronica">ovejaelectronica</a>. - <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/us/channel/shortfilms" target="_self">Classic TV and last night's shows, online.</a></i><br />
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You can breathe now.timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-697892353400885812.post-14089917921459193852011-01-25T10:25:00.000-08:002011-01-25T10:25:36.626-08:00Red State TrailerI've never been a huge Kevin Smith fan. His "Catholic guy trying to balance out his faith with his love of pussy and fag and dick jokes" just never really did much for me.<br />
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But this kind of Kevin Smith movie I can get into ... <br />
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<object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/6I0caLF2Q2c?version=3"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/6I0caLF2Q2c?version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></object>timothy granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09178816364209218617noreply@blogger.com0