Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Homo Horror Hall of Fame: Coach Schneider from Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2

Many horror movies have gay subtexts. What I love about 1984's "A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge" is that the subtext bursts right out of the screen and sprays the viewer with it's gooey gay love juice.

Take for instance, the scene where fey Final Boy Jesse wanders the suburban streets of Springwood (even the name of the town has a gay subtext) and inexplicably stumbles into a hopping gay leather bar.

And wouldn't you know it (and darn all the luck), mean old Coach Schneider is there. And Coach is not some "sipping a cosmo and catching up on some episodes of Golden Girls at the video bar" queer. No, sir. He is bitched up like an extra from "Cruisin'" and ready for action.

Sir Schneider grabs frightened Jesse by the scruff and commands him to "Hit the Shower!" and before you can say "Get your balls on my tumbling mat!" Jesse is stripped down and soaped up.

Unfortunately for Coach Schneider, Jesse is possessed by Freddy Krueger and, well, Freddy is a bit of a control bottom.

Freddy takes over Jesse's body, opts for a little (finger) knife play and turns hunky-pervy Coach Schneider from a butch top to a bleeding bitch bottom in no time flat.

Congratulations, Coach Schneider on being the first inductee to Post-Mortem Depression's Homo Horror Hall of Fame.

Feel free to hang around as long as you like.